Posts tagged Timi Dakolo

This Culture of Victim Shaming

How long has it been since y’all read from me?

Now that I’m back on my personal space, I can talk the way I want without anybody coming to fight me.

I’ve been away since March because this blog refused to let me post and reply comments. It was as if the blog grew a mind of its own because it just threw me out and became my master.

Anyway, now that I’m back on the weekend that the one thing I hate most in this world is trending, let’s just get right into it.

If you’ve been following me before now, you’d know that I dedicated the whole of last year to getting abused victims to speak up after someone verbally molested me and my breasts at Jibowu last year. The stories that came after mine progressed from verbal sexual molestation to actual physical and sexual molestation.

They went from “he touched my breasts,” “he fingered me” to “he raped me countless times” “she took my virginity when I was a child” and what not.

I became a totally different person in the course of reading these stories because I realized that a lot of women if not all, have experienced abuse one way or the other. I even went as far as confronting some of the molesters within my reach and getting threatened by most of them.

You would imagine my outrage when after the whole Busola Dakolo interview on YNaija, some bloody nitwits and rape apologists came out to ask questions like:

• Why was she dressed in her nightie when the pastor came to visit?

• Why is she coming out to speak now?

• Would she have spoken out if Biodun Fatoyinbo wasn’t a pastor?

All of these while completely ignoring the fact that she said that she had spoken out once before and was made to shut up and never speak of it again. Some people watched the cut clips on twitter and ig and concluded that she was lying when there was a 25 minutes long video put out on YouTube containing the full details of the assault.

Unbelievably, the attacks came mostly from women and others who were of the mind that he wasn’t a pastor when he did it, hence calling him out wasn’t necessary.

Back in 2013, Ese Walters who is a survivor to me, called out the same man for the same thing he is being accused of today and because rape is an issue that is always overlooked and social media was not as strong then, she was called names and insulted left, right and center. Thank God she couldn’t be bullied by Nigerians who would rather be blinded by the men put in place to lead them to God.

We make religion seem like a warfare in this country by not letting these religious leaders be accountable and if we won’t get anything right, let’s get our path to righteousness right. Let’s not lose our common sense in a bid to kiss the asses of the “spiritual daddies” who are rapists.

This and a lot more of these confessions are going round and I would say my story that involved a “teens president” of a church in ogudu but that would require a whole blog post.

While we wait for your Gucci pastor to go through with his lawsuit, another Gboko beast emerged from the pits after hell and decided he wanted to be Mike Tyson on his girlfriend.

You can read the full story here.

Let it be known that silence is not an option anymore and if you’re going to be a physical and sexual assault apologist, there is no place for you on my blog or in my life.

If you’ve molested someone in the past, it’s best you out yourself before someone else does it.

I’ll stop here because I have to go to yaba market to buy jeans with my friend.

My next blog post would have us catching up but until then, remember that you can be anything you want to be but not a rape apologist or rapist.

#istandwithbusoladakolo.

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