Posts tagged Nigerian government

LIFE UPDATE: everything is in shambles.

T/W: Nigeria as a whole.

Everything has gone to the pits. In my last post, I talked about being Nigerian and exhausted and from then till now, things have gotten worse. We have a problem on our hands and everybody seems to be moving on from it but it causes me a great deal of distress because I cannot seem to get past the fact that being able to afford basic foodstuff now means that you’re a king.

Tomatoes sold for 200 naira. 200 naira!!!

The very first time I noticed this pandemic was sometime in April, when I went out to buy Titus sardine and I was told that it was now sold for a whopping sum of four hundred and fifty Naira. It looked and felt like a joke to me because that thing went from being two hundred and fifty Naira to four hundred and fifty Naira with no in-betweens. I frowned all the way back home and poured out my frustrations on Ola immediately I got into the house.

I became terribly observant from that point and every time I went out of my house to buy foodstuff, at least one person was begging for a reduced price of a product because they couldn’t afford it. I made it a point of duty to pay off these little monies when I got the chance to but this wasn’t and is still not a sustainable venture because how long will I carry this on for?

I stepped out of my house yesterday and I attempted to price a tuber of yam just to see whether I would get lucky. Mind you, these tubers of yam are now short and dry. I asked for the price of one of these tubers and without mincing words or numbers, the seller said “Na one three”.

I’ve never dropped something faster than I dropped this tuber of yam. I really didn’t blame him at all, this is what we get when farmers have been displaced from their homes and farms and we’re left with what we manage to get.

Credit: twitter.com/theoladeile

The prices of foodstuff keeps skyrocketing, people are getting laid off work because companies can no longer afford to pay salaries, the ones who are still paying salaries are either reducing these salaries or paying the same amount they were paying years ago. It’s sad because the adverse effect of this development is that a lot of people are going to steal to be able to afford to eat. The streets of Lagos have now become so dangerous that every time I go out, I go out with my heart in my mouth because people are getting robbed everyday. It doesn’t help that Jide opened his eyes and thought it was a good idea to block major roads in the name of reconstructions thereby causing more traffic and giving traffic robbers more leverage to steal from commuters but of course, Twitter is our problem and the main focus of the ministers and the Attorney General.

I’m really angry that the government is doing everything to work against its citizens but yeah, we have the best jollof right? I’m angry because this is not the life I thought I’d have in my twenties, I didn’t imagine that I’d have to live my early twenties hoping that I don’t die by this country. I’m angry because before my very eyes, I watched fuel price move from 121 to 170 and right now, they’re proposing that it moves to 250. I’m angry because I feel helpless because this is beyond me.

The least I can do now is to try not to price foodstuff anyhow, leave the change for traders, no matter how small. Pay for someone’s meal every time I go out of my house and beg you people to please, register to get your voters card. Please, just click here to register.

Happy new month by the way, I hope I didn’t trigger you so much with this post.

DORO WHAT? DOROCORRUPTION!!

Whaaaat!!!!

On another episode of ‘Nigeria is a Joke’ from the blockbuster ‘There was a Country’ we present to you another of our government created initiatives.

DOROCORRUPTION

If you want to add a little spice to it, you can pronounce it in the tongue of a certain president ‘DowroKwarapshion,’ this sounds better abeg.

Thank you konbini.com for bringing this app to my notice.

Before I go on, read carefully:

The senior special assistant to President Muhammadu Buhari on prosecution, Okoi Obono-Obla, has announced launch of DoroCorruption anti-corruption application.

Obono-Obla, while speaking in Abuja during the launch of DoroCorruption, stated that lack of adequate information from the public was stalling efforts by the government to recover assets.

He said the anti-corruption fight can only succeed when Nigerians speak out and refuse to condone the act which he described as an ill-wind that would bring no good.

“My panel will investigate assets of public officers, but have you given us information on public officers who have assets that are beyond their legitimate earnings?

“We know them. Most of the buildings in Abuja are owned by directors in public service. How much are they earning? You know these people, they are your neighbours and you don’t give us information. How then do we help government fight corruption?” – culled from dailypost.ng

My country people, we have gotten to the point where we no longer have anything to do, it’s to invent a corruption fighting app and name it DOROCORRUPTION. I commend THE MAVINS for leaving a legacy for our government to follow. I have gone through the app and I just want to tell you that my comments are highly reserved because your opinions are all that matters.

Say hello to the first page of the app, it has been simplified for you because our government is a government of simplicity. Note that Obona-Oblo mentioned that they already know this corrupt people, they just want you to be the one to point your finger at them so that they’ll say they’re working on intel.

If you want to submit reports, you need to fill the form below, if you’re feeling very patriotic, be sure to fill the form with your real information and make sure you’re very detailed in your report so that our anti corruption bodies will leave no stone unturned in finding those corrupt entities. Do this so you will be awarded the medal of patriotism.

I also just want to know if there will be cash prizes after we report like it was for the whistleblowing period.

I’m asking for a friend.

If you want to go a little further and see where your reports landed with your details, click the DoroReport icon and read your report. Be sure to marvel at your writing capabilities while you’re at it, okay?

Furthermore, if you have enough data to stay on the app, visit the news section, you might find something of interest there.

If you want to win recharge cards and other cash prizes by the government through this government created app, stop by the Doroquiz section and answer questions.

But as usual, the corruption in this country must have extended to this app because they set one of the questions like they did our Jamb questions, carefully peruse the image below and convince me that I’m not running mad for thinking that the answer is not there

Help me see the spelling of Slessor

Unless of course my country lied about Michael Taiwo Akinkunmi designing the flag then the answer is not there.

The app in itself is already proving to be corrupt but what do I know o?

You can download it from the Apple App Store and the Google Play store if you’re feeling up to it.

If you’re also wondering how much was put into building this app, don’t bother because in a country where we build websites for 700 million, forget it!! Trillions probably went into building this app.

I’ve tried abeg, I had a good laugh going through this app.

E go be mehn.

My dear readers, are you here for his new age application?

What are your thoughts on this?

Will you be using this app to expose that your corrupt neighbor anytime soon?

Please share your thoughts in the comment section below