Posts in osas

My body shouldn’t be violated by you

I honestly do not get the idea of periods. I also do not get the idea behind painful periods. I hate that I hallucinated all through the night when I should have been dreaming. If it’s not that this period is out to destabilize me, what was I doing in Kano with a gun, my ex and a lot of young men following me all around in the name of protection?

I woke up at 1am to take a break from that dream but I slept back hoping to wake up at 3am, that was when my madness of a dream transported me from Lagos to Kano with an existing character, new additional characters and a new weapon.

I was a terrorist in the dream.

I also didn’t wake up till 6:54am and now I’m writing a blogpost at sunrise.

Now playing: Jonathan McReynolds – gotta have you.

I had failed to announce it on the blog last week that I was hosting an event with Feranmi Okafor – THE MEET. It was our first event that held on Saturday the 24th of November. It was also the day I realized that man may fail you but God will never fail you because when at 11am, the acts invited to perform were running me crazy, I almost turned to go back home and sleep, they eventually didn’t make it but I discovered a lot of sitting acts at the event, I had the best time of my life learning from those acts and watching people speak in their accents.


I also found it particularly interesting that sense could be made out of nonsense when I saw Ayanfe scribble jagajaga on her paper till it made sense. I know talented people, guys.

This week, we’ll be focusing more on sexual violence and how it has destroyed a lot of lives. I got to know the difference between sexual assault and sexual violence when someone narrated his story and I realized that sexual violence was the senior brother of sexual assault. Sexual violence is sexual assault coated with a lot of violence.


I was twelve when I got to know that the instrument in between my legs had a lot of other functions than peeing. I was watching tv in the sitting room that Thursday morning because it was the beginning of our mid-term break for that term and my parents had gone to work.

Our househelp called me from her room upstairs and I ran because I wanted to hurry back and continue watching tv, I got to her room and I met her in her underwear, the hands of her pink bra were turning brown and her black tight was pulling out a lot of threads and attracting a lot of dirt.

“Yes aunty, you called me?” I answered.

“Sit on this bed, I want to teach you something the gateman has been teaching me.”

I obeyed, she was sixteen, I had expected that she was going to teach me our language, I didn’t know why I expected that. She undressed till she was wearing only her skin and went into her bathroom, she came out few minutes later all washed up and still naked. She asked me to lay down, close my eyes and open my mouth, I did what I was told without question and counted till ten. At the count of ten, I felt something on my face and tasted something in my mouth, I opened my eyes and tried to run when I discovered that she was sitting on my face and her vagina was in my mouth. I began to struggle to get out and in the process of struggling, I bit her.

I’ll save you the details of how she tied me up and beat me in places clothes could cover. After beating me, she took me downstairs and played my first pornograhic movie, she had gotten the disc from the gateman and she made sure I was watching with my eyes open.

She took me back upstairs to practice what we watched and whenever I refused to do something, she would beat me and threaten to poison the food my parents and I eat. I watched in horror as my penis became erect and strong, it was painful. It was more horrific when she sat on it and moved up and down.

She got up a few minutes later when I was having spasms and a white substance fell out of me.

“Go and baff” she ordered.

I got up weakly and found my way to her bathroom.

“Chuks, if you tell anybody what we did, I’d kill your parents and then use you for rituals” she shouted as I turned on the shower.

It went on till I was fifteen.

I was sixteen when I knew that I had been sexually violated against my own will.

End of his story.

This thing sounded like a lie to me until I heard other stories even worse than his. I had no tears in me when I heard this story. I see people who have been abused as survivors because I’ve only had a near abuse situation that scarred me for a very long time.

These survivors will be celebrated this Sunday and of course will be fighting against sexual violence because God forbid that more people go through the pain of being violated.

I honestly don’t know what else I’ll spend my Sunday doing if it’s not dedicating my time to a cause this worthy and of course I’d love my readers to be there. It would mean a lot.





You need to love me back!!!

*strolls in*

I’m glad to know that I always have you guys here everytime.

Now playing: the voices in my head stating 1001 reasons why I should get bedspace in my final year.


This week, we’ll be talking about something different that has no affiliation with me at all as we’ll be sticking to my story of me having no feelings.

I randomly asked last week “WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN THE PERSON YOU LOVE DOESN’T LOVE YOU BACK?” I got a lot of responses but the one response that pushed me to write this post came from someone very dear to me.

He said that he had found out the day before I asked the question that the girl he was really in love with didn’t feel the same way but was only leading him on because she was comfortable with the idea of being genuinely loved by someone. He had to find this out from a friend, I felt really bad for him and I asked some of my Instagram followers this same question, read their responses below.

Lois.leo – He did not even lead me on, he asked me out. His reason was because he needed to win a bet over his friends. He won.

Halimat Magaji – cry, scream, hurt and then when you’re tired and at your weakest and you have nothing left in you, pray and move on.

__jacquelline__ This is me right now. I can’t just ‘unlove’ them so I just stay in the zone till I’m ready to talk about it.

Alhaji_fuad – sleep with her best friend as payback (yeah, don’t do this guys)

Fatolafabs- It was a tough experience for me, when I realized that she was leading me on, what I did was stay very far away from her in every way I could. I stopped texting her, it was very tough but here I am, I’m alive, I didn’t die.

Superdupersore- I go on my knees and report her to God, the 24 elders and the host of heaven.

Interesting yeah?

Now read the narration of someone who’s leading someone on.

Weeks ago, I got a message from a friend complaining about a girl who had written a letter to him to express her feelings, the letter was a honest 4/10 and would not have convinced even me but I told him it was a 5 and he proceeded to tell me that it was from a girl who was deeply in love with him but he unfortunately had no feelings for her.

All I wanted to know was why he has not told her and he told me that he told her every time but of course the heart knows what it wants and he decided that he was going to play along since she had already stated that she wasn’t going to give up again. He enjoyed the benefit of being spoiled by her and it felt good to be on the receiving end this time.

She had gone as far as planning a weekend getaway for both of them and telling her grandma about him (at least that’s what she said she did, it might have been a ploy to hold him down and it was working because he was beginning to freak out) you would expect that he would set her straight and leave her alone yeah? I expected so too.

Well, he did not. He instead ran back to me two days ago to ask that I help him because the babe was apparently spending too much and he was beginning to feel guilty. I thought I had heard everything until he told me that she proposed.

She took him to the movies on Saturday, bought him everything edible in sight and while they were eating, she brought out a black box containing a ring, a chain and a pendant and asked that he be her boyfriend.

She went as far as kneeling down. He kept on laughing thinking it was a joke but she kept claiming to be serious so he had to walk out because people had began to stare.

I am not making this thing up, guys.

Did he leave? No.

He stayed to watch the movie because he loved the trailer and he didn’t want to pass on such good movie.When I asked him why he didn’t want to leave her alone even though he knew he didn’t want to have anything to do with her, his response was that ‘he didn’t want to be the bad guy in a girl’s love story because he didn’t want to ruin her life.’

The last thing we discussed was him giving me permission to post this here. Ordinarily, I would have had something to say but I’m tired and blank and I have no words for him.That’s why I’ll be leaving all the advice in your hands while I go back to balloting in hot tears, prayers and supplications.





I lost my identity. Again!!!

If you people had told me that dyeing my hair would mean being rejected by God, I would have not tried it.

Good morning and welcome to the news at 3am, it’s your favorite short and cute blogger – Osastheking.

Pay no mind to the opening statement for now, we’ll come back to it in a bit. I hope you had a great weekend?

Now playing: Jonathan McReynolds- Lovin’ me.

This particular song today because it’s exactly how I’m feeling.

And when I can’t even love myself, Lord I thank you for just lovin’ me

Oh, in spite of me, Lord you keep lovin’ me

Lord I thank you for always lovin’ me.

I live by these words because everyday is another day to be fascinated by the unending love of God in my life. You would imagine my shock when I walked into an annual youth retreat and I apparently made every old female adult in the building uncomfortable.

The reason? My hair

I had been lenient enough to cover the hair while the ends stuck out of the scarf. I got tired of the scarf and removed it after a while because I was after all, in my father’s house. People stared, some in admiration and others in utter disgust.

The audacity?

Side talks started filtering into my ears, talks about how I had defiled the house of God with my colored hair. It was here that I realized that I had the option of staying at home for the weekend instead of bringing my hair to a place where the inhabitants couldn’t be classified as target, talk more audience.

Worst still, my glasses had chosen this same weekend to break.

Nobody confronted me directly, but I had become full blown discussion for the old female adults and it had generated to a very heated argument. People were called upon to talk about my hair privately, but not me.

All the while, I was there wondering what would have happened if they had seen this one.

Or this

My dear friend – Ruru stayed as far away as possible from the retreat because she knew what she was going to face and she was not in the mood to face it.

Shades were thrown, dyed hairs were attacked but the carrier never got to be confronted directly until Sunday afternoon when it was time to leave the retreat ground. An old male adult had approached me and stated that he was only approaching me as per the request of the senior female adults.Apparently they were scared that I was now carrying the devil on my head because he resides in colored hair.

They were also concerned that God had stopped residing in me because He didn’t love me anymore because of my colored hair.This was new but not as new as me hearing that my hair meant that I had lost my identity in Christ.

No, I’m not shocked. I’m just mad that you guys that follow me and read my blog posts failed to tell me that God didn’t love me anymore because of my colored hair.

Of course I know the truth and I’ll most definitely be fixing another color for this but I just want to understand;







Is it not strange?

How one minute we’re in September on this blog and another minute, it’s a month after here.

Happy new month guys, we’re in the month before the Lagos rush month. The thought of approaching the ‘Rush and festive month’ already turns my stomach. I can already feel the Lagos market heat burning the skin on my face.

Now playing: Mirror by Magixx

This song because I actually do relate to the words on a personal level. I really see myself in the mirror getting and painting this picture of what I want to be.

After painting the picture, I leave the house and proceed to join Lagos commuters in the wonderful Danfo bus to my place of Internship because I need to fulfill my BSc requirements.

Three weeks into this internship and it already feels like I’m carrying the weight of every 9-5er in the world. All of these struggles and a lecturer would still deem it fit to reward you according to their mood even if it means putting you in the worst mood.

October was the month I got to bury my mother (one day, we’ll discuss the bizarre burial traditions that existed in Edo state before the advent of the missionaries). It was the month that the results of our written exams came out.

In my head, I had already calculated that out of eight courses, I was going to bag one F in an elective because I wrote nothing.

This is not the kind of nothing where you’d fill your pages with answers you’re unsure of. It’s the nothing where I slept for one hour in the exam hall and counted the number of rain drops on the window for the other hour. I left that exam hall knowing that the only miracle that could happen was the lecturer making the mistake of awarding marks that did not belong to me.

Please, imagine my shock when I saw an F in another course while I was on the road back home from where a total business owner wasted the time of my friends and I.

I cleaned my eyes multiple times to confirm whether or not, it was my result I was seeing. My whole body felt hot on the passenger seat, the seatbelt felt like it was choking me and the driver was making attempts to be crazy.

For one, I expected nothing less than a B in the course because it was the course I enslaved myself in the library for; alongside my friends – Bimbo and Aisha. I went to the group chat to see that I was not the only one. Everybody had a complaint and I was already devising ways to ask to see my script because I was pretty confident of what I wrote.

I heard the Friday that I went to school that, he was not the one that marked it and the oversabi lords of the department were the ones that caused our misery. Those ones checked for similar answers on people’s scripts and failed them even if the answers were correct. You see, sometimes it’s not your village people you need to pray against, it’s those two fair skinned students in your department who graduated with first class to end up as invigilators.

October was also the very month that renowned poet – Feranmi Okafor and I initiated the 15daywritingchallenge. Y’all know me and my inconsistency, in my head I felt like I wasn’t even going to last five days but two days after the challenge has ended, I still feel elated and proud because we did it with quite a number of writers.

You can read the entries of the writers for the challenge through this hashtag- #15daywritingchallenge.

I’m just so glad I got to be part of something I co-initiated. The exam lords can keep their A’s.

This November, I plan to

⁃ Consistently write blog posts.

⁃ Visit blogs of other writers. Be nice enough to recommend a blog you know.

⁃ Read at least, five books.

⁃ Read the Alchemist again because it’s the best thing to ever happen to any man.

⁃ Always fight the urge to talk to fellow danfo commuters about using deodorants.

⁃ Address the issues of depression and drug abuse among my mates.

⁃ Grow closer to God.

So help me God.

Now to the best part of every of my blog posts.








Don’t ever pray to be in this kind of situation.


Today, it is exactly a week that my mother said goodbye to this world.

Today, I realize that this whole thing messes with the mind more than you’d ever realize. I’m supposed to be sleeping so my whole head would be ready for today’s paper but I fear that I might eventually forget everything I’ve read like I did on Saturday.

I didn’t give this gist?

Now playing: Jonathan McReynolds- God is good

I walked into the exam hall five minutes after 9am and was greeted with pity stares from fellow course mates. I know what a pity stare looks like, I gave it to myself in the mirror for hours.

I had of course sang half of the note for that course during my walk to the department and I was so sure that I would kill that course like I had done its predecessors but apparently, my head had other plans.

I saw the questions and I, of course knew what answers belonged to the questions on the question paper but I had not enough strength to write them. I stared around and watched everybody write and as soon as I picked up the pen to write, my right hand began to shake and I began to write on the answer booklet.

Then it happened.

I forgot what it was that I had read.

Instead my head was filled with a lot of crazy WHAT IF questions.

What if I had to negotiate with death?

What if I didn’t have feelings?

What if I didn’t have God?

What if God didn’t find me worthy enough to call me His?

What if God did not give me the kind of friends I have?

What if God had forgotten to give my siblings strength?

What would become of me?


Of course, there was no way I was going to remember what I read at this point and there was no way anybody was going to see me helpless, it had never happened. It was my first time being clueless for an exam I read for and so I put my head on the table and I slept because I wasn’t going to risk my feelings getting the better part of me.

My mind had chosen a quiet place to become creatively inquisitive, my mind had chosen the exam hall to make me helpless. I slept for an hour straight and woke up still clueless.

I knew I had to struggle to get my mind off what it was that was bothering it but I also knew that I didn’t have the strength to and it would require an outburst, I wasn’t about to let Vincent and his best friend hand me a malpractice form so I sat there, very confident of the F I would be getting in that course. It didn’t help that time slowed itself down, looked me in the eye and dared me to do my worse.

Eventually, two hours came to an end and I gingerly jumped out of my seat and submitted like I had actually written something.

I was calm.

The voices in my head were in series of arguments with themselves but I was physically calm.

I even made jokes about it.

Now I fear that the hall would be too silent by 12pm today for my mind to handle it. This is one course taken by everybody’s favorite lecturer and it will not be in my lifetime that my mind would let my body embarrass my family, me and you.

As much as I fear that my mind would not be able to survive the silence, I plan to do this exam with Jonathan McReynolds, God and everything I’ve read in my head.

If I get through this paper, I can get through anything.






Hard guy, hard guy but…

I usually would stay awake long enough to create a blog post but it’s past 3am, it’s in fact 8am on a Friday morning and my head is spinning, my breathing is on hold and my eyes hurt from crying.

Contrary to what people think, I cry too.

Forgive me if this blog post comes out rough.

I really can’t see road well.

Now playing: Nara by Tim Godfrey ft Travis Greene.

This whole week has been a whole week of emotional rollercoaster. I started my exams peacefully and was beginning to enjoy the idea of me reading for exams and gracefully going to write them down in the hall without any trouble but of course, the ghost of unilag exams didn’t fail to haunt me.

It was during my second semester exams in year one that my then boyfriend broke up with me for winning Most Popular Female.

It was also during my second semester exams in year two that my mom got diagnosed of her ailment and was admitted into the hospital. I got to write my exams with one leg in the hospital and another leg in school.

It was during my first semester exams in year three that my current ex decided that he had to call it quits too because I didn’t have ‘time’. During exams o.

I was already getting used to this exam distractions and felt that there was nothing that could surprise me anymore because if I could write those exams and still manage to maintain a gpa high enough to call airtel to mtn to say ‘call me back’ and hang up, nothing could ever surprise me.

I spoke too soon.

This new occurrence surprised the hell out of me. After getting through four papers sanely, I was making plans to pretend to read for the fifth one, I received a call from the hospital the evening after my fourth paper and it was from the front desk. She had been trying to reach my father but he was not answering his phones which was quite normal because he usually kept his phone somewhere whenever he was working, she had reached out to me to ask if I could reach him or I could come to the hospital as my mom had requested to see one of us. I sensed that she was lying because if my mom wanted me to come, I would hear her whisper her requests in the background because she wouldn’t be allowed by my mom to make that call outside her Ward. I told her that I was tired and I would come in the morning but I would reach my dad and ask him to go there. I never reached him, but he eventually got there.

I was woken early Thursday morning by my dad’s call, he had left the hospital that morning and was asking if I could come home (If you’re new here, I don’t like going home because of the distance, it’s like going to Benin). I told him I couldn’t come home because I didn’t have that money and I was supposed to see the dentist that day for my Gingivitis diagnosis. He asked if I could come to the office and I agreed in annoyance. NAHCO is not a very friendly environment.

Ten minutes after he called, another call came in and when I picked it, I recognized the voice. She was my mom’s good friend and it was usually not her nature to call me. She called to ask when I had seen my mom last and I told her that I had seen her the Saturday before. She also asked when I was going to see her next and I said I planned to go that day, she broke the ice with ‘why not go see her after you finish your exams now, won’t it be a distraction?’ Me? This same me that stayed with her at the hospital during exams last year? I told her ‘okay ma. Thank you’ and ended the call.

I was not stupid.

I’m 20, not stupid. I got the message.

My brother called me in less than an hour to ask if I had heard from my mom and I told him that I had not but I planned to go and see her later that day. He told me that he had gone outside and a security man from the industrial company told him “sorry about the death of your mom”.

I was already raging at this point because it is for this same exact reason that Epe doesn’t look appealing to me. The ability for your gist to go round without you even knowing. I assured him that it was a lie and prepared to go to my dad’s office with StyleSenami who was very available at that time of the day.

God bless the taxify driver that came to pick me up yesterday, he has to be the best driver taxify has because he waited to drive me back to school despite the delay.

We got to NAHCO at 10am and went straight to the clinic, we went to the front desk and with an all smiley face, I said “Good morning ma, my name is Virtuous Irianele…”

The woman at the desk did not allow me land before replying “sorry about the death of your mom”. I couldn’t feel my legs anymore. I sat down and asked that they called my dad to tell him I was waiting for him. One thing I knew not to do was show emotions. If I was pained, it was inside my body. The amount of sorries and ‘God gives and God takes’ I heard from NAHCO alone was enough to negotiate with death for her return. I was irritated. So we left. I made jokes from everything around me and tried to lighten up the whole mood because if there’s anything I hate, it’s people being sad on my behalf but if there’s anything I love right now, it’s the fact that my mom got to see me progress from the baby I was to the woman who would do anything for her.

I loved my mom too much, so much that I always used her to boast. I would stylishly make my friends follow me to her shop just to see her and experience her niceness. I loved it when people told me ‘your mom is so small and nice’, she was a living proof that not all short people were wicked.

My mom like any other mother, would readily slap my face to reset my brain. Even on her sick bed, she wasn’t less of a mother. Everything we have today is because of what you sacrificed for us. You suffered for too long and I’m glad that the suffering is over.Such a cute fighter.

One day, I’ll write a book about you just so your legacy would never die. Until then, prepare a space in Heaven for us because it would be wicked of us to not live right here on earth after all teaching us a lot. I love you mother, my siblings and I love you too much to ever want to disgrace you, here or not. Thank you for raising us, we couldn’t have asked for a better mother💜I’ll definitely stay alive to make you very proud.

No, I’m not crying. Sand entered my eyes.

Now playing: I love you by Jonathan McReynolds (it was his 29th birthday this week. I still love him)I’ve not mourned yet and I know it will be bloody when I do but I just need the following questions answered.






Leave your answers in the comment section.

Don’t forget to like, share and subscribe.8


I’ve been staring at the blank space upon which I’m typing for over an hour now and I can tell you that I AM LOST. It all looks strange to me seeing that I’ve not been here for weeks now.

All of these feels new to me, so you’ll forgive me if I type like a novice because that’s exactly how I’m feeling.

Now playing: Oluchukwu by Morris Jehty.

It would be rude of me to make this blog post without asking HOW ARE YOU? If your answer is the usual ‘I’m fine’, I hope from the bottom of my heart that you’re genuinely fine.

I apologize terribly for my inconsistency, it has been on purpose. I procrastinated a lot till I got here and I don’t think I ever want that to happen again because I missed this place. My safe haven that coincidentally got me nominated for an award at the department. It would never have been possible without you. Thank you💜

Now playing: I love you by Jonathan McReynolds.

I love this song and how it puts me in my feelings because it’s a constant reminder that God never left me.

I witnessed a little child get hit by the bus I was in, she went under the bus and I had never experienced fear as much as I did during this hit. Thankfully, she survived.

During this last week, I heard something that made my heart cut, I usually read about it on twitter but never in my lifetime did I think that it would happen to someone I know.

For the sake of this narration, the characters will be referenced as single letters.

A – female character who is old enough.

B – male character who is older.

Other minor characters will be included later on.

It so happened that A and B had been in a relationship for quite a while now and they participated squarely in senseless arguments like a lot of couples do. B was very fond of going through his girlfriend’s phone suspiciously. A didn’t mind because she had nothing to hide but she became overly curious when he would never leave his phone unguarded.

One evening, she caught him lost in his phone, chatting away and smiling like a little girl, she had been talking to him but from all indications, he heard nothing. She called his attention and asked who it was he was chatting with that was making him so engrossed and he said it was his colleague in the office. He went on to explain that they had earlier played Truth or Dare at the office and it was discovered that this said female colleague was a virgin.

Unamused by his explanation, she went further to ask why he was chatting with her and he gave the general excuse. “My guy wants to run her parole so I’m helping him.”

Helping him do what sir? She asked that he stopped and let his colleague run her parole by himself with his own hands and mouth and he promised to.

Weeks later, when all was well and forgotten, she had gone to spend the weekend at his house as usual and they were both tired to cook anything heavy. They decided to do takeout and went off to get food outside the house. They came back and an argument ensued about the food, causing the guy to walk out on her in anger leaving his phone in the sitting room.

Did I fail to mention that this was a house with a lot of rooms and spaces and A had not quite gotten used to moving around the house yet so she stayed put in the sitting room hoping that he would come back but he did not. She was left alone for a few minutes.

She screamed his name from the sitting room and asked him to come down, when he did, he was looking a lot calmer. They were going to talk about it until her hand mistakenly went to his phone where he dropped it. According to her, he flew from where he was to where the phone was and snatched it while screaming at her to never touch his phone in her entire life.

To begin with, she didn’t even know the password of the phone as he had refused to tell her so this aroused her suspicion. She carefully hatched her plan of waiting for him to sleep and then using his fingerprint to unlock the phone.

It worked because he sleeps deep. She went to the bathroom and began to go through his phone carefully, she saw the side of her boyfriend that she had never seen before – the romantic and gentle side.

To his colleague.

The very one he claimed that he was helping his friend get.

She began to cry and went through other messages, there was more than one girl. She ran back into the room and hit him on his body to wake him up while brandishing his phone screen at his face screaming “what is this!!”

He calmly got up and said “this is why I asked you not to touch my phone, I didn’t want you to see these things”. The nerve.

What was said after that is not our business as they kept on arguing on top of their voices. When he could not take it anymore, he asked her to leave the house because he felt she was too angry to be around him.

At midnight.

Humility found her and she asked that he let her stay till morning seeing that she had nowhere to go that night but he had the upper hand now and he began to pack her load downstairs. The begging intensified and his pride increased.

She asked that he did not wake the neighbors so they wouldn’t come out and he openly said “if they do, I’ll tell them you’re a prostitute I picked from the streets”

Men, scum? Never!!!

She pleaded until he agreed to let her stay and sleep in the sitting room. There, she stayed and cried her eyes out for hours. He came a few hours later to pacify her and to drop the bombshell.

“The virgin is not the one you should be scared of, I’ve been dating someone for five years and she’s expecting me to propose to her by April.”

At this point of the narration, I was shattered for her.

He went on to say that they could still be dating on the side, his real girlfriend didn’t have to come between them.

It happened for real.

Of course, she broke up with him but she has been depressed ever since.

He still calls her till now.






I’m sorry I’ve been away

Happy new week guys. I promise you all that I’ll be missing my 8am class as soon as I post this and sleep off because nothing will be making me wake up before 10am.

The sight of this image makes me yawn endlessly.

I apologize for not posting at all last week. I kept on procrastinating (took me a lot of google searches to remember this word) till the week ended and I was mentally tired and uninspired to open this blog but I’m here now.

I’ve watched the movie “Truth or Dare” three times in less than six hours because I’m somehow trying to understand how crazy a writer has to be to come up with such script. That’s the level of crazy I want to be, it’s not too much to ask, is it?

I can’t stop picturing those funny truth or dare faces in my head so I’ve resorted to using the two of my latest favorite songs to help me write this post.

Oya, time to update your playlists.

◦ Nonso Bassey- 411 remix because he made me catch the virus and his voice is mesmerizing.

◦ Wurld- Contagious. Have you guys seen that video? He’s going to have to become my friend because he and his hair color are both contagious.

Everybody pray for my friends – Senami and Ruth. Nothing much, they’re just as broke as I am so we can’t go past our doorsteps.

They’re the very reasons why I missed going for The BBQ party and Oxymoron with Kennyblaq and why I’m here watching the stories of the people that went. I’m weeping hot tears.

If you attended TAPE/FEARLESS last week and you sat inside, I just want you to know that we’re not friends, you lucky sly. Nigerians are very angry people whom we now know, would never be late to the airport and an event where Tim Godfrey and Travis Greene are part of. I stayed in lagos traffic for almost two hours and got to the venue to find out that everywhere had been filled up. I left two hours later because I was so sure I would have fainted if I had stayed longer.

Big brother Travis, I love you man💜

Unrelated update: My departmental week starts today and it’s kicking off with faaji Monday where everyone gets to gyrate. We all need to be there. Steven and I will also be hosting Mass Comm’s got talent event on Tuesday. I’ll be disgracing everyone of you, my readers💜

So dear followers, I have a friend who’s not really my friend but I let her be a part of my life because she’s friends with my friends. They’re the reason I’m tolerating her but I’ve seemingly had it up to the tip my nose. She lies, she steals and she lies about not doing any of those things. I’m angry because she has stolen from my own friend twice and I’m still being made to associate with her without confrontation. She looked me in the eyes and lied about something last year, I went on to confront the person involved when I finally met him for the very first time this year and he told me a different story. I’m pissed because all these back and forth involve my hustle but I’m still giving benefit of doubt because my close friends are such good people and would not want to hurt the feelings of anybody except me. So now I’m irritated.

Someone has also been owing me a substantial amount of money since December and he has the guts to still play nairabet and all the different kind of bets that exist while telling me that he fell from a plane hence his inability to pay me.

The two things these two people have in common is that they both owe me and I hate being owed, especially my own money. Jesus is just the reason I’m being calm because he doesn’t want me to sleep at Alpha base for wrong use of words, really.






I’ve changed my name. Thank you😊

You see the thing about being a woman is that your body springs up dirty surprises and says to you “oh, I just thought you needed something to get you bothered today since your skin is glowing, your boyfriend is being sweet, your laundry is done, you still have small money and you’re experiencing peace of mind. So here, you’ve been surprised with pregnancy even though I know you did not have anything to do with any man, so congratulations dear”.

If you’ve read up to this point, you’re welcome to my happy place.

How are you?

No, I’m not pregnant. It’s just that time of the month when my body doesn’t feel like my own anymore and I’m here typing in pain and in gratitude to God for making this one silent even though it’s still painful.

Now playing: Strings and Blings by my cousin – Nasty C.

Congratulations to my second country – France, for winning the World Cup. It wasn’t easy but it was worth it. You guys can call me Mrs Osas Kylian Mbappé Lottin as I’ll be working towards marrying my best friend as soon as he notices me. Don’t come at me with ‘you’re older than him’ because I realize that and I also realize that age is just a number and I cannot control who I fall in love with. If you know me well, you’ll know that this is how I stand most of the time, with my hands in that same position. Only difference is that my hands will be resting on something bigger. Who says we’re not meant to be?

I’ve already written out the names of our kids my love, we’ll have four kids – two boys and two girls. Three out of four will be footballers while the last one will be a doctor, so our three other kids don’t have to stress being treated by other doctors. Sense will not kill me!!This is how I’ll be kissing his cute head. I’ll wake up beside him every morning and look at our beautiful kids and kiss his head in gratitude to God for giving me such beautiful man that compliments my beautiful self that created our beautiful kids through the copulation process.

Please if you follow me and you’re nursing any sort of romantic feeling(s) for Mbappe, kindly desist from it and focus on Pogba or Kante because I don’t think I can share my man. Thanks.

I want to humbly apologize to my dear and loyal subscribers for not putting out a blog post last week. It was a busy and dramatic week starting from getting my pvc, if you’ve not gotten your PVC, I’m your senior please; to being a part of Dare2Dream season 5 in unilag. If you missed this, I’m very sorry.

A certain Instagram slay king who doubles as a student of unilag faked his own death for social media stunt last week. RIP to you daddy linkup.

I moved on to attending the listening party some new and incoming music. I really want to cast these songs out of excitement but I won’t even though I heard them first. I’ll just really wait for the songs to come out.

Last week was stressful.

This week?

I started it with partying with my coke lovers family after our win against Croatia yesterday and I have no plans to be annoyed this week because I’m beautiful and I don’t have strength in advance this week.





This heartbreak

Happy new month you guys. I just need you people to read this post the exact same way I’m writing it.

In excitement.


Now listening to Here I am by Marvin Sapp.

This is one song that I’m going to recommend for everyone like I do in every blog post because this song is an assurance that I’m not wrong in this game of standing strong.Today I’m not ranting in anger, yeah?

My friends have tagged me a permanently angry bird. They say I have this permanent scowl on my face that reads off as anger every single time and I was totally not aware of this.

I’m working on changing this attitude but I’d love for me and my entire being to be sent abroad so this change would be effective.

I started my week badly but I refuse to let it get to me in Jesus name!!! Even though it’s still eating me up in the inside, I highly refuse. Sunday morning had me waking up at the hospital where I spent the night with my mom, the rain was just annoying my entire being and I had plans to go to church at 9. I ordered taxify because there was no way I was doing public transport in that rain, my driver was such a nice young man who did not inflate his price or attempt to use that cheat map drivers usually use. He took me to school safe and sound and collected his 2k4 jeje.

Church service was supposed to start at 9am but I was not ready at 9 and stylesenami who was supposed to go to church with me was not ready too. I had to get ready and wait for her for over an hour.

Guess who ordered taxify and was faced with surge? Yes, me!!I was mad but I was running late and rain was still falling heavily so I had no choice but to order the cab. The estimate told me 3k to 3k something as opposed to the normal 2k to 2k5 and I still felt it was reasonable. My taxify driver decided that he wanted to pass a longer route for reasons best known to him, I protested and asked him to face his directions to third mainland and he did while making sure he passed all the had streets that led to adekunle from yaba.I was already going crazy but not as crazy as I went when I saw 4k8 when he ended the trip at our destination.

If you know me, you’ll know my anger builds up from deep within my stomach to my throat. I paid that money in agony and slammed the door as soon as I got down. I cat walked into church in heels only to find out that service had just ended. I was not even fast enough to meet ‘The grace’.

I swallowed my tears and went to gist with the pastor who tried to lighten up my mood and later settled for taking us to BlackBell Restaurant to eat. Nobody says no to free food, especially not me so I jumped into the car and followed the whole team to BlackBell Restaurant. I was faced with the tough decision of actually choosing what I wanted to eat among their beautifully laid varieties of food and I did not hide it, so I asked that the server recommend for me. She recommended their special fried rice with shrimps in it in a takeaway pack. I wanted to be able to spread my legs and eat that food without fear of being watched by the prim and proper public. I felt so butty eating that food later in the evening.

I sat at BlackBell to order another taxify ride that would bring us home in the never ending rain. This had to be the most annoying driver on earth, he claimed to be ‘completing a trip’ nearby for over 20 minutes. Why accept my ride when you were still on a trip? Senami had refused for me to cancel the ride because of her niceness so I made sure she suffered the pain of being lied to by that taxify driver who by the way is completely clueless as to what reading is.While we waited, I engaged myself in a conversation with Victoria of Blackbell who looked like the administrator of this beautiful restaurant. She offered me some cookies and their special bread as take home gift.

She gifted me free food!!

Her kind is very rare and I’ll like to ask that you people stop by Blackbell to feel the way I feel. The feeling didn’t really last as the last taxify driver who took me round the wrong routes in Lagos simply because I wanted to go and pick my heartbroken friend and comfort her, decided to charge me 4k3 after my trip ended. Let me not lie, I did not hold this one. I paid the money, went upstairs and buried myself in tears on the bed. I spent 11k5 in one day on taxify!!!

Make me ambassador, no!!!

Take all my money, yes!!!

I’ve not eaten well since this incident.

I’ve not even behaved normally since Sunday so if you see me having a puppet show on my instastory, you know why.Picture taken and edited by @stylesenami.

Kindly digest this beauty!!! Those cookies were music to my soul and they tried everything to comfort me. They worked for the moment as they made me forget my worries at that particular time. Notice how the bread come in actual numbers? I felt like the child I wasn’t allowed to be as I ate this. My long throat friends participated in the eating too.Well, except the heartbroken one, who cried and played depressing songs till I became heartbroken myself.Which brings me to the questions…

Why do people cheat in relationships?What are their gains?

Have you ever cheated or been cheated on?

Would you rather go through your heartbreak with food or music?

Have you visited BlackBell today? No? Let’s go together, bills on you dear.

Have you subscribed to this blog?