Posts in osas

Waist trainers? No, please dear

You people did not even tell me that this waist trainer life is hard.

Few weeks ago, StyleSenami forced me to buy a waist trainer from Jumia since I had refused to see through my plan of going to the gym, I felt so too.

I got my waist trainer weeks ago and I never got around opening the package. I just knew that I had a waist trainer lying around in my box.

Today I decided to try this dress I got as a gift from Jane Michaels last year and I decided to try it with the waist trainer.

First of all, the process of wearing a waist trainer is work in itself, I perspired like I had just come out of the bathroom because Lagos is on a whole different level of ‘hot’ at the moment. This waist trainer has to be wrapped twice for you to get the achieved results but I realized that if I wrapped it twice, Instablog’s headline would read ‘Girl on blue faints in public due to the tightness of the waist trainer nobody sent her to wear’ with a picture of me sprawled on the floor struggling to breath so I wrapped it once and got my mammary glands spilling out of the clothes and my waist snatched anyway.

Ladies and gentlemen, that picture might look like whatever you think it is but I couldn’t breath, I promise. Those things make you walk as if you’re proud and as if you have money and I honestly need to know how you lots that wear these things regularly, live with yourselves.

It didn’t help that I was hungry and I had to eat but I couldn’t because my intestines were caving in. It looked like modesty and home training to the ones that offered me food but I was really hungry and dying to remove this thing.

Hafeezah on the other hand, was as free as a bird seeing that she had nothing holding her down.

She helped zip up that dress so she is partly to blame for my discomfort.

Eitherways, I realize now that ‘snatched waist’ is not my portion as I cannot survive this hardship.

If you people want me to be fit, hire a personal trainer for me. If not, let’s be looking at ourselves.

LADIES, EVER HAD ANY EXPERIENCE WITH WAIST TRAINERS?

WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST TIME LIKE?

GUYS, EVER ENCOUNTERED ANY LADY WITH WAIST TRAINERS? HOW DID YOU FEEL?

WHO ELSE IS WITH ME ON THIS ‘I CAN’T COME AND KILL MYSELF JOURNEY?

See who decided to come back.

A month ago today, I dropped a blog post on my blog and I have since then struggled with dropping more posts, not because I’m a lazy blogger who deems it fit to drop blog posts whenever she likes but because my blog threw me off balance and requested that I got a Secured Socket Layer certificate.

I died and resurrected because these certificates don’t come cheap.

Being a blogger is a whole lot of work, I tell you.

I have the best web developer on earth. Campusstyle did everything possible to keep me calm and sane while they scurried round the web for a cheaper certificate.

Ladies and gentlemen, my blog is now premium because I paid money to be able to post and because I said so.

Now playing: the voice of reasoning in my head asking me to drop my phone and listen to my lecturer because this blog post can wait.

I’m typing this blog post under the table guys.

I missed everything about this blog but y’all missed four whole weeks of my dramatic life, you can catch up on most of them on my instagram page.

I’m back to this blog as a final year student who has finally gotten over every form of laziness to resume school. I have also come to realize painstakingly that my life would have to be on hold in order to survive this final year and the stress or I could decide to go through the stress of living my life as a student and as a hustler because man must whack.

It’s so hard to hear in this class without my glasses.

Don’t ask me how.

Eitherways, this is just a blog post to announce my return to the blog and to be sure that I’ve not lost any of you guys and to tell y’all that I came back single.

My lecturer just seized the phone of my course mate because it rang out, I’m typing with one eye on my screen and the other eye looking out.

Happy birthday to my health practitioner friend and an ardent reader of this blog. God bless you, Onye.

I’m done abeg.

HOW HAVE YOU BEEN?

 

WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN UP TO THESE PAST FEW WEEKS?

 

WHO GOT VALENTINE GIFTS DEARS?

 

WHAT NEW TRICK DO YOU HAVE UP YOUR SLEEVES? FILL ME IN GUYS.

 

 

Happy Valentine’s day in advance, okay?

The whole world is taunting me right now but I’m a strong girl, this Valentine too shall pass.

Now playing: Yes, you can – Donnie Mcclurkin 1989.

This song actually made the whole of my childhood. No morning ever went by in our house without this song blasting from the DVD player, mainly because I was envious of the children that sang with him on stage and I always pictured myself amongst those kids.

The CD had to start skipping terribly before we stopped playing it but one thing I know is – Yes, I can do anything at all; well apart from watching people’s stories on Valentine’s day because that one, I cannot do!!!

Going to save myself the heartache.

This is actually one holiday I have never looked forward to because you people will disturb my timeline with red and white and extremely mushy things.

I went for the one party where I felt in control because of the theme – NO LOVE by Lynkupwithjameson, the one party where I felt like single people could triumph because of the theme but alas, I was to be disappointed because almost everyone found love at that party, all I managed to leave the party with was the fine pictures my friends took of me.

Don’t question me, please. I have headache.

Oh, Burna boy has a babe now, her name is Stefflondon. I feel bad for you bloody singles that were crushing on either him or his babe.

Jokes apart guys, after this whole valentine craze is over, I’d come back to the reality that ASUU has called off strike and I still didn’t get hostel in Unilag.

Your WCW would likely sleep on the streets of Akoka if she doesn’t get hostel, that’s not even the best part, my dear friends.

The best part is, I have been given my project topic and I cant even remember what it is even though I have to submit my proposal in April.

Me looking at my life in front of me like…

 

On the bright side, we’re all writing my project together. Thanks

 

I know that I can never be in this situation alone but let’s make my friend and I happy, click here to like this picture for us and tag two people to like on your way out.

I’m going to bed now but not without asking.

WHO ELSE DOESN’T HAVE A VALENTINE?

 

WHO IS AS SINGLE AS I AM AND WILL BE AT HOME EATING THE CHOCOLATES PEOPLE BUY FOR OUR FRIENDS?

 

WHO IS IN A RELATIONSHIP BUT UNSURE ABOUT HOW THIS VALENTINE WILL BE FOR YOU?

 

WHO KNOWS THE DSA OF UNILAG PERSONALLY?

 

Lagos Landlords are absolute extremists

If you live in Lagos and you’re trying to get an apartment, I commend you for participating in this extreme sport.

Now playing: Wonderland by Efeoraka

When I said it few weeks ago that Lagos landlords are extremists, it looked and sounded like I was blowing things out of proportion but after my friend had to claim that she was married in order to secure an apartment, I thought nothing they did could ever surprise me again until my male friend went through a totally different ordeal.

He had been on about this apartment search since December and it always met him at a dead end because these landlords are not smiling with anybody’s father.

About a week ago, he was casually talking to his client when he mentioned that he needed an apartment big enough to contain all his photography equipments but he had not found the perfect one yet, she offered to renew the rent of the apartment where her sister used to stay for my friend and her brother while he continued his search and of course, who no like better thing?

In this case, the house was owned by a woman and in the briefings given to them by their agent, they had to appear before her looking like responsible young men as she was keen on who she let into her house and so they did.

They got there looking like the most responsible bachelors in Lagos. Well, my friend did but his client’s brother came as he was – unbothered.

After going round the house and getting the final rent balance, the landlady said ‘oya let’s talk’ and sat down like a Queen.

Her ground rules were:

⁃ No coming into the compound later than 8pm (in this Lagos o)

⁃ If they ever stayed out beyond 8pm, they shouldn’t even bother coming home because she would not answer them if they knocked (even our extreme parents didn’t go this far)

⁃ All visitors must be assessed by her before coming into her compound (yes ma, Access me and tell me to leave the compound)

⁃ There would be only one key to the gate and it was going to be with her, if they ever needed to go out or come in, they would need to call her first. The gate was going to be locked at all times (because she’s the one that gave birth to them)

⁃ No female visitors (my friends and I planned to disguise as evangelists on every Sunday so we could gain access into the house, especially when we needed to shoot and maybe his own girlfriend would come in disguised as a man)

⁃ They would both come to her for spiritual counseling as often as possible (because mentorship)

⁃ And most importantly, they would always follow her to camp whenever she was going (one of these two human male soon to be tenant is a Muslim)

At this point, my friend lost it and asked that she adopted them as her children and refunded their money so they could live as puppets in her house because they could not live like that at the expense of their own money.

Well, she agreed to one thing and that was refunding their money if they couldn’t live with her rules and she did in twenty four hours. It took this encounter for us to realize that it had to be landed properties before mobile ones because ‘Lagos don tear our eye.’

Anyway, the story has a great ending. My friend has gotten a better apartment where he had to lie that he’s married with an adult kid (me) on the form.

I’d rather this than having to disguise as a man to visit my friend.

While we’re here, watch my introduce yourself video here and get to know more about me.

YOU KNOW I’LL ALWAYS ASK, HAVE YOU EVER ENCOUNTERED A LAGOS LANDLORD?

ARE YOUR PARENTS SUCH LANDLORDS?

WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE DONE IF YOU WERE IN THE SAME ROOM WITH THE LANDLADY WHEN SHE WAS SPEAKING?

WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE DONE IF YOU WERE IN THEIR SHOES?

Dear Creatives, stand your ground.

I actually did wake up at 2am to write but since my throbbing head has other plans for me, I slept back and woke up at 4am. I can shake my head up and down now and hope that it stays shakable tomorrow.

Now playing: the playlist this idiot made for me. No, I won’t share, I’ll just be putting up the picture of the one who has my heart completely.

Between the last time we talked on this blog and now, I dyed my hair, watched the whole season of SEX EDUCATION and the two seasons of DYNASTY.

I was up most on most nights completely neglecting writing on this blog and doing ‘one more episode and I’ll write’.

Guess who one more episode herself to the very end of the series?

We need a season three and we need it fast!!!

Either ways, dear creatives that do not know how to place value on what they do, what’s the problem? Is it that you’re unsure or you feel like you’re not worthy to have value?

I ask this because I heard a whole web/app developer beat himself up in front of a potential client in order to seem humble.

He stuttered, he stammered and most of all, he wasn’t sure of how good he was.

The phrases ‘I could’ and ‘’maybe’ fell out his mouth so much that I almost walked up to him and gave him a resounding slap.

He had some pretty good jobs to his name but he didn’t value himself enough to see them as ‘good jobs’ and I watched as he was painfully priced from 100k to 30k because he seemed unsure of himself.

It was more painful than seeing Cristal Carrington die.

I’d never stop asking you to value yourself first before any other person values you. This way, nobody can ride you because they’d realize that they need you more than you need them.

Don’t be afraid to put a price on yourself because you want to seem nice and cheap unless nice and cheap can fund your lifestyle because you’ll most definitely be priced to nothingness even when you’re cheap. Price yourself knowing that your piggybank needs to be fed everyday and it cannot be fed with an empty account. This is my motivation.

Reminds me of the very time someone cut 80% off my budget for a job and told me ‘just accept this one, there will be more jobs in the future and we’ll put you on the list.’

God forbid, dear.

I was broke but I honestly refused to sell myself short and lose on both ends because I wanted to please people with my money in their pockets; because if 80% of the budget could be cut now, what was the guarantee that I’d even get paid at all next time?

What was the assurance that the next time a better job came up, I wouldn’t be called and priced to the level of disorientation simply because they know that I’d settle for just anything?

God forbid bad thing!

So dear creatives who want to make a difference and get paid while at it, place value on yourself knowing that they need you more than you need them because they’d have learnt it if they didn’t need you.

While you’re at it, ensure that you know how to deliver what is expected of you too because you’ll put yourself in a position of ‘see finish’ and lose your integrity.

I have tried for you.

HAVE YOU SEEN ANY OF THE TWO SERIES MENTIONED ABOVE

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN UNDERPRICED BY A CLIENT? SHARE YOUR EXPERIENCES.

ARE YOU ACTUALLY NICE OR YOU JUST DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE WORTH?

HOW HAVE YOU UTILIZED THIS STRIKE TO YOUR FAVOUR?

DO YOU HAVE YOUR PVC, DEAR?

When the applause gets too loud…

If like me, you love to applaud yourself or be applauded by others after every step you take, you might want to invest your time in this post.

Now playing: Baby girl – Casper Nyovest (Bimbo sent this song to me to rope me into his lies but no dear, I’m not falling for it. I’m going back to my Jonathan McReynolds playlist when this song ends)

It is well known that as much as a lot of us try to put up the ‘idgaf’ show and the ‘your opinions don’t matter, I’m living my best life doing what I want’ appearance, we lowkey seek validation from certain people and when we get them, our brains go over the top.

Don’t even attempt to deny it.

What do you do when the applause gets too loud?

For most of us, when we achieve one small feat and we get a lot of appraisals telling us that it could only be us and nobody else, how that small feat is one milestone that should be celebrated beyond words and how nobody deserves us; we begin to actually feel like everyone is underserving of us and we have done something out of the ordinary. So what do we do next?

We relax.

Let me digress a little bit.

I met someone in 2014 and instantly became a big fan of him because not only was he my size, he was also from my state and was doing such great things in the East.

(I would mention names but I honestly don’t have strength for that)

2014, he was the one person that you could refer to as your mentor’s mentor because that was how good he was.

At every chance I got, I made sure that I reminded him about how great he was doing. A whole lot of other people publicly appraised him too. He was so good that when he came to see me in Lagos that year, a lot of people stopped him to say hi.

Eventually, we lost touch and reunited in 2017. It was a glorious meeting seeing that I was still a fan even though I had no idea if he was still keeping up the good work. People still hailed him sha.

We got closer and I realized that this young man still thought of himself as the person he was a few years ago.

A lot of people had met him at his pace and overtaken him, yet he still considered himself Lord over them.

There were days where he would say ‘this person learnt from me. I revolutionized this for these newcomers, they’re nothing without me.’ Those newcomers had gotten better and had physical evidence to show for it but he was still the same person he was in 2014, only older.

I had never seen someone who lived on past glory like this person and one day, I sat down to think about it and I realized that the applause kept getting louder and louder till his ego drowned in it and raised his shoulders too high.

He relaxed and waited for his past to speak for him while his predecessors kept working and making their present continuous do the talking.

Eventually, he became depressed and blamed everyone else but himself for his misfortune.

I tried to help, trust me.

This whole experience made me realize that praises could either choose to make or mar you, depending on how you take them.

I’ve been carried away by a lot of praises. Praises so loud that I stopped creating for a while to bask in the euphoria of the previous step I took but reality hit me when I also realized that your praise singers would move on to the next person who provides them value if you refuse to come down from your high horse and create.

So what do you do when the applause gets too loud?

⁃ You take it in and continue creating so they don’t stop applauding.

⁃ Don’t just be a one hit wonder. Keep making hits until it becomes a way of life for you.

⁃ Nobody ever survived on past glory so don’t for once think that past glory will feed you in this day and age.

⁃ Applaud yourself first after every milestone so that the applause of others doesn’t overwhelm you.

⁃ Get someone to guide you.

HAVE YOU EVER LET APPRAISALS GET INTO YOUR HEAD?

HAVE YOU EVER EXPERIENCED WHAT LIVING ON PAST GLORY GLORY FEELS LIKE?

DO YOU EVER TAKE OUT TIME TO APPRECIATE YOURSELF OF YOU JUST LET OTHERS DO THE APPRECIATING FOR YOU?

Hey, Your friends are a reflection of who you really are!!!

Yes, you’ve heard it before and I’m saying it again.

Your friends are a reflection of who you are.

Now playing: Sound it – SMJ ft IBK

Often times, I get a lot of flattering messages about my friends and I and how we take advantage of everything at our disposal to push and encourage each other. I beam with pride but then again, these things don’t happen in a day.

I have, over the past five years made friends who have either contributed to my life or taken from me.

No. Not money.

Value.

I’m not one to make a lot of friends even though I know a lot of people. Reasons being that:

• I don’t want to get poisoned, any way possible.

• I don’t like unnecessary stress.

• I hate unnecessary stress.

• I want to be around people that can help me grow even when I’m being lazy.

• I don’t like selfish people.

When I remember more reasons, I’ll post them on my Instagram.

These questions from TheCultureFit will be a guide as to how you and your friends can be strong off each other.

I’d be making a lot of personal references so forgive me.

How do I find friends to form my own squad?

This is quite tricky because I don’t think anybody gets into friendship with the aim of being a squad. It’s something that just happens along the line but if the long term plan is to be a squad and remain so, the trick is to find people of like minds but with different perspectives towards life because this would help broaden your thoughts and will teach you tolerance. You have to find out that it’s fine for everybody not to agree with your opinion and it will totally be fine, unless you want a squad that would constantly applaud your excesses and bow before you at your will.

For example, I have very creative friends with different talents, when we come together with the aim of brainstorming, that’s when we begin to understand why we’re friends.

How does everyone put the other person before themselves?

It’s a question of how selfless you can be. If you’re in that friendship to help each other grow, of course it would come easy. It’s a clear case of ‘If one person wins, we applaud the loudest’ because we are first proud to be friends with that person and we realize that our applause would motivate others to stand up and applaud. If one person does something bad, the rest of us cower our heads in shame so we’d also raise our heads up high while we carry each other on our shoulders knowing that a team player scored.

How do you all manage to hold each other down and protect your interests as a team?

The devil will not put us to shame in Jesus name. At this point, it just comes naturally because we’ve been through too much together to not hold each other down.

Behind the scenes, we fight a lot and attempt to break up because of one small mistake but of course every team has that one person that oversees as the elder, who would take out the time to talk sense into us one after the other.

We first imagine how our lives will be without each other and then how beautiful our lives would remain and improve with each other and we realize that it’s something we cannot lose, so we hug and kiss ourselves and renew our vows.

This works because I do not have toxic friends. I have friends who are willing to slap me from my daydream and bring me back to the reality of what I’m supposed to be doing to achieve my dreams.

That being said, if you have toxic friends, you’re punishing yourself.

How do you all bare yourselves out to each other without the fear of being judged.

This is where the trust factor comes into play because why do you have friends who would readily jump at the first opportunity to judge you?

We talk a lot and we all have our different roles to play individually.

I’m most definitely the last person anybody would come and meet to tell that they got drunk and fell into the gutter. I will laugh. A lot. Like a whole lot.

I’m also the very last person who’d accept that you’ve had your very first taste of alcohol because it takes me really long to process such information. I’ll just be living in denial but you can always come and meet me when you have issues pertaining to your mental, emotional and physical well being. I can die for you in these cases.

In very extreme cases where we now have to collectively bare ourselves to each other, we either do it physically or on the group chat and if you’re not going to help in any way, it’s best you just shut up because everybody will face you.

When you consider all being made the center of attraction in such situation, your head will become correct, you’d remove every form of judgement from your feelings.

How do you stay supporting each other 100%?

We have become so used to it now. A lot of times we don’t even give our 100% but because a lot of people that see us are fascinated by the idea of us as friends, they get to think that everything is rosy.

There are days that we slack, there are also days that we get selfish but we of course do not let it becloud our sense of reasoning.

We love each other first, we understand each other and we act like we’re all we’ve got, we annoy each other a lot, sometimes a little too much that it becomes baffling.

We correct each other in love and we try to keep each other on our toes because we’re moved by what we see so we ensure that we let the team see that there’s no room for slacking.

Sometimes we’re childish, but hey, we’re only humans after all.

WHAT ARE YOUR FRIENDS SAYING ABOUT YOU?

DO YOU BELIEVE IN THE ‘SHOW ME YOUR FRIENDS AND I’LL TELL YOU WHO YOU ARE’ PHRASE?

ARE YOU YOUR FRIEND’S FRIEND?

DO YOU SUPPORT YOUR FRIENDS OR YOU JUST WANT THEM TO SUPPORT YOU FOR NOTHING IN RETURN?

DO YOU PATRONIZE YOUR FRIENDS?

DO YOU TALK TO YOUR FRIENDS?

Happy New Year Family💜

If you’re reading this, you made it into 2019.

Congratulations dear, there’s a reason you made it and I’m very sure it’s to fulfill the Glory of the Lord.

Of course, it’s the time of the year when everybody is high up in their emotions and of course appreciation and expectation messages have come in, I’ve gotten a fair share of my own appreciation messages and as much as I marvel about how well you people rate me, I’m really thankful for the grace to do these things I do. The best part is having you guys to do this for, y’all are an integral part of my life, really.

This blog is almost a year old and I came to the realization that I lived half of my life here through the narrations I provided and it’s funny now because most of you guys know more about me than I know about myself and you know by now that for the past three weeks, I’ve been on a positivity speaking spree and I’ve been trying to be less angry and I can beat my chest and say that I have progressed because I have.

I’m making this blog post the shortest you’ll ever see on this blog because I plan to start posting more than once a week and of course to give you to admire my new interface.

I’m so excited but you can’t tell because I’m typing this with a straight face even though I’m screaming inside. I’m fascinated at how beautiful this blog looks and I just want to fly out of my skin but there would be no one to write for you if I do.

This year is the year that everyone wants to make it by fire or by force and by hard work backed with prayers. EVERYONE.

We’re either getting it right this year or we’re not so while we feel that the month of January will last for four months, let’s also make sure that we’re making plans to work until we can afford everything we pray for.

⁃ Make resolutions while at it, give yourselves deadlines to accomplish those resolutions so you don’t end the year saying that resolutions are a scam.

⁃ Set goals and don’t limit God. Let your goals know that they’re not too big to be achieved.

⁃ Save a lot this year. If like me you’re a reckless spender, if you spend on icecream and data a lot, we’re the same thing but it doesn’t have to be that way this year. Save daily and set a weekly/monthly limit for yourself.

⁃ Make investments. Get a financial plan and a financial advisor that would guide you through the process of finance usage.

⁃ Stay busy. Gain skills, set up a business, take professional courses, watch a lot of videos that would improve your lives, make and maintain friends that would push you to be better but never stay idle.

⁃ Take that step you’ve always been afraid to take. Open that blog, open the vlog, start that podcast and make sure you hype it like your whole life depends on it.

⁃ Please, try not to be the subject of every social media negative drama so that when I’m talking about it on this blog, you won’t be angry.

I tried to keep this short and simple, I promise I tried. Happy new year guys💜

HAVE YOU MADE YOUR RESOLUTIONS YET?

My body shouldn’t be violated by you

I honestly do not get the idea of periods. I also do not get the idea behind painful periods. I hate that I hallucinated all through the night when I should have been dreaming. If it’s not that this period is out to destabilize me, what was I doing in Kano with a gun, my ex and a lot of young men following me all around in the name of protection?

I woke up at 1am to take a break from that dream but I slept back hoping to wake up at 3am, that was when my madness of a dream transported me from Lagos to Kano with an existing character, new additional characters and a new weapon.

I was a terrorist in the dream.

I also didn’t wake up till 6:54am and now I’m writing a blogpost at sunrise.

Now playing: Jonathan McReynolds – gotta have you.

I had failed to announce it on the blog last week that I was hosting an event with Feranmi Okafor – THE MEET. It was our first event that held on Saturday the 24th of November. It was also the day I realized that man may fail you but God will never fail you because when at 11am, the acts invited to perform were running me crazy, I almost turned to go back home and sleep, they eventually didn’t make it but I discovered a lot of sitting acts at the event, I had the best time of my life learning from those acts and watching people speak in their accents.

70c4ea5c-eb3d-4456-b409-eeaf82c09f59.jpg

I also found it particularly interesting that sense could be made out of nonsense when I saw Ayanfe scribble jagajaga on her paper till it made sense. I know talented people, guys.

This week, we’ll be focusing more on sexual violence and how it has destroyed a lot of lives. I got to know the difference between sexual assault and sexual violence when someone narrated his story and I realized that sexual violence was the senior brother of sexual assault. Sexual violence is sexual assault coated with a lot of violence.

HIS STORY

I was twelve when I got to know that the instrument in between my legs had a lot of other functions than peeing. I was watching tv in the sitting room that Thursday morning because it was the beginning of our mid-term break for that term and my parents had gone to work.

Our househelp called me from her room upstairs and I ran because I wanted to hurry back and continue watching tv, I got to her room and I met her in her underwear, the hands of her pink bra were turning brown and her black tight was pulling out a lot of threads and attracting a lot of dirt.

“Yes aunty, you called me?” I answered.

“Sit on this bed, I want to teach you something the gateman has been teaching me.”

I obeyed, she was sixteen, I had expected that she was going to teach me our language, I didn’t know why I expected that. She undressed till she was wearing only her skin and went into her bathroom, she came out few minutes later all washed up and still naked. She asked me to lay down, close my eyes and open my mouth, I did what I was told without question and counted till ten. At the count of ten, I felt something on my face and tasted something in my mouth, I opened my eyes and tried to run when I discovered that she was sitting on my face and her vagina was in my mouth. I began to struggle to get out and in the process of struggling, I bit her.

I’ll save you the details of how she tied me up and beat me in places clothes could cover. After beating me, she took me downstairs and played my first pornograhic movie, she had gotten the disc from the gateman and she made sure I was watching with my eyes open.

She took me back upstairs to practice what we watched and whenever I refused to do something, she would beat me and threaten to poison the food my parents and I eat. I watched in horror as my penis became erect and strong, it was painful. It was more horrific when she sat on it and moved up and down.

She got up a few minutes later when I was having spasms and a white substance fell out of me.

“Go and baff” she ordered.

I got up weakly and found my way to her bathroom.

“Chuks, if you tell anybody what we did, I’d kill your parents and then use you for rituals” she shouted as I turned on the shower.

It went on till I was fifteen.

I was sixteen when I knew that I had been sexually violated against my own will.

End of his story.

This thing sounded like a lie to me until I heard other stories even worse than his. I had no tears in me when I heard this story. I see people who have been abused as survivors because I’ve only had a near abuse situation that scarred me for a very long time.

These survivors will be celebrated this Sunday and of course will be fighting against sexual violence because God forbid that more people go through the pain of being violated.

I honestly don’t know what else I’ll spend my Sunday doing if it’s not dedicating my time to a cause this worthy and of course I’d love my readers to be there. It would mean a lot.

KNOW ANYONE WHO HAS BEEN VIOLATED?

IF YES, HAVE YOU ENCOURAGED THEM TO SPEAK OUT?

DO YOU KNOW ANYONE WHO’S SEXUALLY VIOLATING PEOPLE?

DO YOU KNOW THAT IT WOULD HELP IF YOU SPEAK UP SO WE CAN CURB THE MENACES?

You need to love me back!!!

*strolls in*

I’m glad to know that I always have you guys here everytime.

Now playing: the voices in my head stating 1001 reasons why I should get bedspace in my final year.

.

This week, we’ll be talking about something different that has no affiliation with me at all as we’ll be sticking to my story of me having no feelings.

I randomly asked last week “WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN THE PERSON YOU LOVE DOESN’T LOVE YOU BACK?” I got a lot of responses but the one response that pushed me to write this post came from someone very dear to me.

He said that he had found out the day before I asked the question that the girl he was really in love with didn’t feel the same way but was only leading him on because she was comfortable with the idea of being genuinely loved by someone. He had to find this out from a friend, I felt really bad for him and I asked some of my Instagram followers this same question, read their responses below.

Lois.leo – He did not even lead me on, he asked me out. His reason was because he needed to win a bet over his friends. He won.

Halimat Magaji – cry, scream, hurt and then when you’re tired and at your weakest and you have nothing left in you, pray and move on.

__jacquelline__ This is me right now. I can’t just ‘unlove’ them so I just stay in the zone till I’m ready to talk about it.

Alhaji_fuad – sleep with her best friend as payback (yeah, don’t do this guys)

Fatolafabs- It was a tough experience for me, when I realized that she was leading me on, what I did was stay very far away from her in every way I could. I stopped texting her, it was very tough but here I am, I’m alive, I didn’t die.

Superdupersore- I go on my knees and report her to God, the 24 elders and the host of heaven.

Interesting yeah?

Now read the narration of someone who’s leading someone on.

Weeks ago, I got a message from a friend complaining about a girl who had written a letter to him to express her feelings, the letter was a honest 4/10 and would not have convinced even me but I told him it was a 5 and he proceeded to tell me that it was from a girl who was deeply in love with him but he unfortunately had no feelings for her.

All I wanted to know was why he has not told her and he told me that he told her every time but of course the heart knows what it wants and he decided that he was going to play along since she had already stated that she wasn’t going to give up again. He enjoyed the benefit of being spoiled by her and it felt good to be on the receiving end this time.

She had gone as far as planning a weekend getaway for both of them and telling her grandma about him (at least that’s what she said she did, it might have been a ploy to hold him down and it was working because he was beginning to freak out) you would expect that he would set her straight and leave her alone yeah? I expected so too.

Well, he did not. He instead ran back to me two days ago to ask that I help him because the babe was apparently spending too much and he was beginning to feel guilty. I thought I had heard everything until he told me that she proposed.

She took him to the movies on Saturday, bought him everything edible in sight and while they were eating, she brought out a black box containing a ring, a chain and a pendant and asked that he be her boyfriend.

She went as far as kneeling down. He kept on laughing thinking it was a joke but she kept claiming to be serious so he had to walk out because people had began to stare.

I am not making this thing up, guys.

Did he leave? No.

He stayed to watch the movie because he loved the trailer and he didn’t want to pass on such good movie.When I asked him why he didn’t want to leave her alone even though he knew he didn’t want to have anything to do with her, his response was that ‘he didn’t want to be the bad guy in a girl’s love story because he didn’t want to ruin her life.’

The last thing we discussed was him giving me permission to post this here. Ordinarily, I would have had something to say but I’m tired and blank and I have no words for him.That’s why I’ll be leaving all the advice in your hands while I go back to balloting in hot tears, prayers and supplications.

WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN THE ONE YOU LOVE DOESN’T LOVE YOU BACK?

HOW WOULD YOU REACT IN THE SHOES OF THE GUY ON THE RECEIVING END?

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN THAT PERSON ON THE GIVING END?

OF COURSE, WHAT WOULD YOU ADVICE THE TWO GUYS TO DO?