Posts in How Tos

How to maintain your sanity during the last days of your final year in the University.

All of a sudden, I’m not in a hurry to graduate anymore.

Now playing: THE SEARCH ALBUM – NF as recommended by Asherkine and Themmie.

If you’ve been here with me from the very beginning, you’d know that I’ve always been making a lot of noise about wanting to graduate because I was tired and frustrated of school. Well, not anymore.

All of a sudden, I’m faced with a lot of what ifs because I realize that there’s a whole reality that I’m not ready to face in the outside world.

I’ve heard most people say that they experienced post-graduate depression but I’ve never heard anyone say they faced pre-graduate depression and it makes me wonder if this thing chose to start with me.

It now feels like four whole years ran by really fast and I have no idea how to slow down even though I know I’ll be the same person that will make a whole lot of noise about being a graduate, which I would do loudly because I would never pass on the opportunity to shut down Lagos.

It doesn’t even help that I’m still in my first paragraph of my chapter two because I don’t know what to write. The people that said writing project would be very easy because I’m a writer need to come and meet me in this boxing ring because I want to fight.

This NF can actually sing but I’m sure some of you already know that.

Anyway I’m just here to tell you that pre- graduate depression is an actual thing and to also let you know that before I leave the University of Lagos, I’ll be part of the team making history with the first CampusTechFest event at the University of Lagos. Never have I heard of an event where a fusion of tech and entertainment will be achieved but my dear friends – Kunbi Black and Steevane have decided to challenge the norm.

You know me now, I’ll be performing so register here.

You know I’d never leave this blog without asking for your opinions so please, engage me.

AM I THE FIRST ONE EXPERIENCING PRE-GRADUATION DEPRESSION?

 

IF NO, PLEASE I’D LOVE TO READ OTHER EXPERIENCES.

 

WHY DID YOU SKIP THE REGISTRATION LINK FOR CAMPUSTECHFEST?

 

IF YOU ENJOYED THE LAST POST ABOUT MY IBADAN TRIP, WOULD YOU BE INTERESTED IN GOING BACK TO IBADAN WITH ME ON THE 24th- 26th?

 

Dear Content Creators, stand your ground.

The easiest thing to do as a content creator is to be swayed by promises by people who would rather offer everything else but payment for the services you have provided.

I actually did wake up at 2am to write but since my throbbing head has other plans for me, I slept back and woke up at 4am. I can shake my head up and down now and hope that it stays shakable tomorrow.

Now playing: the playlist this idiot made for me. No, I won’t share, I’ll just be putting up the picture of the one who has my heart completely.

Between the last time we talked on this blog and now, I dyed my hair, watched the whole season of SEX EDUCATION and the two seasons of DYNASTY.

I was up most on most nights completely neglecting writing on this blog and doing ‘one more episode and I’ll write’.

Guess who one more episode herself to the very end of the series?

We need a season three and we need it fast!!!

Either ways, dear creatives/content creators that do not know how to place value on what they do, what’s the problem? Is it that you’re unsure or you feel like you’re not worthy to have value?

I ask this because I heard a whole web/app developer beat himself up in front of a potential client in order to seem humble.

He stuttered, he stammered and most of all, he wasn’t sure of how good he was.

The phrases ‘I could’ and ‘’maybe’ fell out his mouth so much that I almost walked up to him and gave him a resounding slap.

He had some pretty good jobs to his name but he didn’t value himself enough to see them as ‘good jobs’ and I watched as he was painfully priced from 100k to 30k because he seemed unsure of himself.

It was more painful than seeing Cristal Carrington die.

I’d never stop asking you to value yourself first before any other person values you. This way, nobody can ride you because they’d realize that they need you more than you need them.

Don’t be afraid to put a price on yourself because you want to seem nice and cheap unless nice and cheap can fund your lifestyle because you’ll most definitely be priced to nothingness even when you’re cheap. Price yourself knowing that your piggybank needs to be fed everyday and it cannot be fed with an empty account. This is my motivation.

Reminds me of the very time someone cut 80% off my budget for a job and told me ‘just accept this one, there will be more jobs in the future and we’ll put you on the list.’

God forbid, dear.

I was broke but I honestly refused to sell myself short and lose on both ends because I wanted to please people with my money in their pockets; because if 80% of the budget could be cut now, what was the guarantee that I’d even get paid at all next time?

What was the assurance that the next time a better job came up, I wouldn’t be called and priced to the level of disorientation simply because they know that I’d settle for just anything?

God forbid bad thing!

So dear creatives who want to make a difference and get paid while at it, place value on yourself knowing that they need you more than you need them because they’d have learnt it if they didn’t need you.

While you’re at it, ensure that you know how to deliver what is expected of you too because you’ll put yourself in a position of ‘see finish’ and lose your integrity.

I have tried for you.

HAVE YOU SEEN ANY OF THE TWO SERIES MENTIONED ABOVE

 

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN UNDERPRICED BY A CLIENT? SHARE YOUR EXPERIENCES.

 

ARE YOU ACTUALLY NICE OR YOU JUST DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE WORTH?

 

HOW HAVE YOU UTILIZED THIS STRIKE TO YOUR FAVOUR?

 

DO YOU HAVE YOUR PVC, DEAR?

When the applause gets too loud…

If like me, you love to applaud yourself or be applauded by others after every step you take, you might want to invest your time in this post.

Now playing: Baby girl – Casper Nyovest (Bimbo sent this song to me to rope me into his lies but no dear, I’m not falling for it. I’m going back to my Jonathan McReynolds playlist when this song ends)

It is well known that as much as a lot of us try to put up the ‘idgaf’ show and the ‘your opinions don’t matter, I’m living my best life doing what I want’ appearance, we lowkey seek validation from certain people and when we get them, our brains go over the top.

Don’t even attempt to deny it.

What do you do when the applause gets too loud?

For most of us, when we achieve one small feat and we get a lot of appraisals telling us that it could only be us and nobody else, how that small feat is one milestone that should be celebrated beyond words and how nobody deserves us; we begin to actually feel like everyone is underserving of us and we have done something out of the ordinary. So what do we do next?

We relax.

Let me digress a little bit.

I met someone in 2014 and instantly became a big fan of him because not only was he my size, he was also from my state and was doing such great things in the East.

(I would mention names but I honestly don’t have strength for that)

2014, he was the one person that you could refer to as your mentor’s mentor because that was how good he was.

At every chance I got, I made sure that I reminded him about how great he was doing. A whole lot of other people publicly appraised him too. He was so good that when he came to see me in Lagos that year, a lot of people stopped him to say hi.

Eventually, we lost touch and reunited in 2017. It was a glorious meeting seeing that I was still a fan even though I had no idea if he was still keeping up the good work. People still hailed him sha.

We got closer and I realized that this young man still thought of himself as the person he was a few years ago.

A lot of people had met him at his pace and overtaken him, yet he still considered himself Lord over them.

There were days where he would say ‘this person learnt from me. I revolutionized this for these newcomers, they’re nothing without me.’ Those newcomers had gotten better and had physical evidence to show for it but he was still the same person he was in 2014, only older.

I had never seen someone who lived on past glory like this person and one day, I sat down to think about it and I realized that the applause kept getting louder and louder till his ego drowned in it and raised his shoulders too high.

He relaxed and waited for his past to speak for him while his predecessors kept working and making their present continuous do the talking.

Eventually, he became depressed and blamed everyone else but himself for his misfortune.

I tried to help, trust me.

This whole experience made me realize that praises could either choose to make or mar you, depending on how you take them.

I’ve been carried away by a lot of praises. Praises so loud that I stopped creating for a while to bask in the euphoria of the previous step I took but reality hit me when I also realized that your praise singers would move on to the next person who provides them value if you refuse to come down from your high horse and create.

 

So what do you do when the applause gets too loud?

⁃ You take it in and continue creating so they don’t stop applauding.

⁃ Don’t just be a one hit wonder. Keep making hits until it becomes a way of life for you.

⁃ Nobody ever survived on past glory so don’t for once think that past glory will feed you in this day and age.

⁃ Applaud yourself first after every milestone so that the applause of others doesn’t overwhelm you.

⁃ Get someone to guide you.

HAVE YOU EVER LET APPRAISALS GET INTO YOUR HEAD?

 

HAVE YOU EVER EXPERIENCED WHAT LIVING ON PAST GLORY GLORY FEELS LIKE?

 

DO YOU EVER TAKE OUT TIME TO APPRECIATE YOURSELF OF YOU JUST LET OTHERS DO THE APPRECIATING FOR YOU?

 

How to be a friend to your friends

Yes, you’ve heard it before and I’m saying it again.

Your friends are a reflection of who you are.

Now playing: Sound it – SMJ ft IBK

Often times, I get a lot of flattering messages about my friends and I and how we take advantage of everything at our disposal to push and encourage each other. I beam with pride but then again, these things don’t happen in a day.

I have, over the past five years made friends who have either contributed to my life or taken from me.

No. Not money.

Value.

I’m not one to make a lot of friends even though I know a lot of people. Reasons being that:

• I don’t want to get poisoned, any way possible.

• I don’t like unnecessary stress.

• I hate unnecessary stress.

• I want to be around people that can help me grow even when I’m being lazy.

• I don’t like selfish people.

When I remember more reasons, I’ll post them on my Instagram.

These questions from TheCultureFit will be a guide as to how you and your friends can be strong off each other.

I’d be making a lot of personal references so forgive me.

How do I find friends to form my own squad?

This is quite tricky because I don’t think anybody gets into friendship with the aim of being a squad. It’s something that just happens along the line but if the long term plan is to be a squad and remain so, the trick is to find people of like minds but with different perspectives towards life because this would help broaden your thoughts and will teach you tolerance. You have to find out that it’s fine for everybody not to agree with your opinion and it will totally be fine, unless you want a squad that would constantly applaud your excesses and bow before you at your will.

For example, I have very creative friends with different talents, when we come together with the aim of brainstorming, that’s when we begin to understand why we’re friends.

 

How does everyone put the other person before themselves?

It’s a question of how selfless you can be. If you’re in that friendship to help each other grow, of course it would come easy. It’s a clear case of ‘If one person wins, we applaud the loudest’ because we are first proud to be friends with that person and we realize that our applause would motivate others to stand up and applaud. If one person does something bad, the rest of us cower our heads in shame so we’d also raise our heads up high while we carry each other on our shoulders knowing that a team player scored.

How do you all manage to hold each other down and protect your interests as a team?

The devil will not put us to shame in Jesus name. At this point, it just comes naturally because we’ve been through too much together to not hold each other down.

Behind the scenes, we fight a lot and attempt to break up because of one small mistake but of course every team has that one person that oversees as the elder, who would take out the time to talk sense into us one after the other.

We first imagine how our lives will be without each other and then how beautiful our lives would remain and improve with each other and we realize that it’s something we cannot lose, so we hug and kiss ourselves and renew our vows.

This works because I do not have toxic friends. I have friends who are willing to slap me from my daydream and bring me back to the reality of what I’m supposed to be doing to achieve my dreams.

That being said, if you have toxic friends, you’re punishing yourself.

How do you all bare yourselves out to each other without the fear of being judged.

This is where the trust factor comes into play because why do you have friends who would readily jump at the first opportunity to judge you?

We talk a lot and we all have our different roles to play individually.

I’m most definitely the last person anybody would come and meet to tell that they got drunk and fell into the gutter. I will laugh. A lot. Like a whole lot.

I’m also the very last person who’d accept that you’ve had your very first taste of alcohol because it takes me really long to process such information. I’ll just be living in denial but you can always come and meet me when you have issues pertaining to your mental, emotional and physical well being. I can die for you in these cases.

In very extreme cases where we now have to collectively bare ourselves to each other, we either do it physically or on the group chat and if you’re not going to help in any way, it’s best you just shut up because everybody will face you.

When you consider all being made the center of attraction in such situation, your head will become correct, you’d remove every form of judgement from your feelings.

How do you stay supporting each other 100%?

We have become so used to it now. A lot of times we don’t even give our 100% but because a lot of people that see us are fascinated by the idea of us as friends, they get to think that everything is rosy.

There are days that we slack, there are also days that we get selfish but we of course do not let it becloud our sense of reasoning.

We love each other first, we understand each other and we act like we’re all we’ve got, we annoy each other a lot, sometimes a little too much that it becomes baffling.

We correct each other in love and we try to keep each other on our toes because we’re moved by what we see so we ensure that we let the team see that there’s no room for slacking.

Sometimes we’re childish, but hey, we’re only humans after all.

WHAT ARE YOUR FRIENDS SAYING ABOUT YOU?

 

DO YOU BELIEVE IN THE ‘SHOW ME YOUR FRIENDS AND I’LL TELL YOU WHO YOU ARE’ PHRASE?

 

ARE YOU YOUR FRIEND’S FRIEND?

 

DO YOU SUPPORT YOUR FRIENDS OR YOU JUST WANT THEM TO SUPPORT YOU FOR NOTHING IN RETURN?

 

DO YOU PATRONIZE YOUR FRIENDS?

 

DO YOU TALK TO YOUR FRIENDS?