Posts by Osas

The Pre-Graduate life.

All of a sudden, I’m not in a hurry to graduate anymore.

Now playing: THE SEARCH ALBUM – NF as recommended by Asherkine and Themmie.

If you’ve been here with me from the very beginning, you’d know that I’ve always been making a lot of noise about wanting to graduate because I was tired and frustrated of school. Well, not anymore.

All of a sudden, I’m faced with a lot of what ifs because I realize that there’s a whole reality that I’m not ready to face in the outside world.

I’ve heard most people say that they experienced post-graduate depression but I’ve never heard anyone say they faced pre-graduate depression and it makes me wonder if this thing chose to start with me.

It now feels like four whole years ran by really fast and I have no idea how to slow down even though I know I’ll be the same person that will make a whole lot of noise about being a graduate, which I would do loudly because I would never pass on the opportunity to shut down Lagos.

It doesn’t even help that I’m still in my first paragraph of my chapter two because I don’t know what to write. The people that said writing project would be very easy because I’m a writer need to come and meet me in this boxing ring because I want to fight.

This NF can actually sing but I’m sure some of you already know that.

Anyway I’m just here to tell you that pre- graduate depression is an actual thing and to also let you know that before I leave the University of Lagos, I’ll be part of the team making history with the first CampusTechFest event at the University of Lagos. Never have I heard of an event where a fusion of tech and entertainment will be achieved but my dear friends – Kunbi Black and Steevane have decided to challenge the norm.

You know me now, I’ll be performing so register here.

You know I’d never leave this blog without asking for your opinions so please, engage me.

AM I THE FIRST ONE EXPERIENCING PRE-GRADUATION DEPRESSION?

IF NO, PLEASE I’D LOVE TO READ OTHER EXPERIENCES.

WHY DID YOU SKIP THE REGISTRATION LINK FOR CAMPUSTECHFEST?

IF YOU ENJOYED THE LAST POST ABOUT MY IBADAN TRIP, WOULD YOU BE INTERESTED IN GOING BACK TO IBADAN WITH ME ON THE 24th- 26th?

I’ve been living a lie

Twenty one years in Lagos and I grew up believing that there was no life beyond Lagos until I decided to take the bold step and move beyond Lagos.

Now playing: swaggu by yusufkanbai

I overlooked my travel phobia and motion sickness and embarked on a two-hour evening trip to Ibadan, six days here and I have realized that Lagos is designed to shorten our lifespan. I searched for at least thirty minutes traffic in Ibadan so I’ll be assured that Lagos wasn’t totally running me mad but alas!!! No traffic.

Even the rain wasn’t half as aggressive here as it has been in Lagos.

I’m now in the very best position to tell my dear readers, most of who reside in Lagos to travel out of that city once in a while just to wind off and experience the peace that comes with not being stuck in traffic and eating amala undilutedly made with peace and love.

The kind of amala you’d enjoy without getting angry if you try to drag shaki with your teeth and it splashes soup into your eyes. That’s the kind of amala I’m talking about.

WEDNESDAY

Don’t ask where Monday and Tuesday went because I slept all day on Tuesday.

If you feel the need to also be adventurous, please visit Bowers tower if you’re claustrophobic and experience what it’s like to be in a horror movie.

You can tell from the pain in my eyes that the journey that led to taking this picture was not funny. After eating that beautiful amala from Amala skye, my host decided that he was going to take me to bowers tower because he wanted me to be in touch with history. I honestly would have opted for sleep but I couldn’t resist not spending my host’s money so I agreed and so began the journey that took four of us to that tower. After climbing the hill and walking the long road that led to the tower, we finally made it into the compound where the tower stands only to find out that the stairs are really tiny and the flight up was quite long and slow. For every step I took, I said prayers that went like “God abeg, don’t let these walls close in on me, don’t let that door lock and don’t let these stairs give way under me. God, please I’m begging you, you know I don’t watch horror movies, don’t let me star in one.” I was the most scared than I had ever been in my life because the stairs were never ending.

We eventually made it up but my paranoid state refused to let my body calm down. The view was great, it was a 360 view of the whole city and I could have sworn I saw Unilag but I couldn’t afford to let my guard down because I didn’t trust the tower to not collapse.

The rest of the guys were making the most out of it and creating memories but not me because I just wanted to get to the ground again and when we did, I walked as fast as my legs could take me. I was laughed at but I preferred that, really.

I’m pretty sure that if my host says it from his point of view, you’d think we went to heaven because perspectives play very important roles in storytelling. It was that same day that WhatsApp, Instagram and Facebook were down so I visited the coldstone at bodija and compensated myself for the horror I had experienced earlier.

THURSDAY

Thursday evening had me at the the arcade at Ventura mall.

We tried something that we ordinarily wouldn’t try in Lagos. We said “let’s go to the mall” ordered Taxify and got to the mall in less than ten minutes. I kept on saying “wow” because as a sane person in Lagos, even if you lived behind the mall, you had to make proper plans and leave your house hours before the stipulated time because traffic could build up unexpectedly in front of your gate.

Safe to say that I had fun without being worried that I was going to have to face traffic on my way back home. Life is good when you don’t end up spending half of your day in traffic and all your money on transport.

FRIDAY

If you ever want to eat breakfast and get full, be sure to visit Oliver’s cafe. I was so sure before I saw the pancakes that I was going to ask for another round but halfway through the pancakes, my stomach was already acting full but I loosened my shorts and lived up to my nickname – baby elephant.

This breakfast knocked me out till 3pm.

SATURDAY

I visited Agodi gardens. I’m never going there again.

My blogger friend – Onyinye picked me up later that afternoon and took me to ParisBakery and I kid you not, they had amala alongside their icecream and cake. If you looked closely, you’d also see rice and stew.

If you love pure sugar, please order anything from this bakery. I had never had problems finishing icecream until I tasted this one. Never again dear God.

If you ever need an affordable restaurant where you can go on dates, please start with cafe Chrystalis.

SUNDAY

I’m in Lagos and I’m in tears because I entered Lagos and became unfresh. The best you people can do for me now is answer the following questions in the comment section.

DON’T I DESERVE TO LEAVE THIS LAGOS?

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO IBADAN?

HAVE YOU TASTED AMALA IN IBADAN? YOU NEED TO TASTE IT TO KNOW THAT I’M NOT BEING OVERLY DRAMATIC.

WHAT ARE THE BEST OUT OF LAGOS CITIES TO VISIT?

This Culture of Victim Shaming

How long has it been since y’all read from me?

Now that I’m back on my personal space, I can talk the way I want without anybody coming to fight me.

I’ve been away since March because this blog refused to let me post and reply comments. It was as if the blog grew a mind of its own because it just threw me out and became my master.

Anyway, now that I’m back on the weekend that the one thing I hate most in this world is trending, let’s just get right into it.

If you’ve been following me before now, you’d know that I dedicated the whole of last year to getting abused victims to speak up after someone verbally molested me and my breasts at Jibowu last year. The stories that came after mine progressed from verbal sexual molestation to actual physical and sexual molestation.

They went from “he touched my breasts,” “he fingered me” to “he raped me countless times” “she took my virginity when I was a child” and what not.

I became a totally different person in the course of reading these stories because I realized that a lot of women if not all, have experienced abuse one way or the other. I even went as far as confronting some of the molesters within my reach and getting threatened by most of them.

You would imagine my outrage when after the whole Busola Dakolo interview on YNaija, some bloody nitwits and rape apologists came out to ask questions like:

• Why was she dressed in her nightie when the pastor came to visit?

• Why is she coming out to speak now?

• Would she have spoken out if Biodun Fatoyinbo wasn’t a pastor?

All of these while completely ignoring the fact that she said that she had spoken out once before and was made to shut up and never speak of it again. Some people watched the cut clips on twitter and ig and concluded that she was lying when there was a 25 minutes long video put out on YouTube containing the full details of the assault.

Unbelievably, the attacks came mostly from women and others who were of the mind that he wasn’t a pastor when he did it, hence calling him out wasn’t necessary.

Back in 2013, Ese Walters who is a survivor to me, called out the same man for the same thing he is being accused of today and because rape is an issue that is always overlooked and social media was not as strong then, she was called names and insulted left, right and center. Thank God she couldn’t be bullied by Nigerians who would rather be blinded by the men put in place to lead them to God.

We make religion seem like a warfare in this country by not letting these religious leaders be accountable and if we won’t get anything right, let’s get our path to righteousness right. Let’s not lose our common sense in a bid to kiss the asses of the “spiritual daddies” who are rapists.

This and a lot more of these confessions are going round and I would say my story that involved a “teens president” of a church in ogudu but that would require a whole blog post.

While we wait for your Gucci pastor to go through with his lawsuit, another Gboko beast emerged from the pits after hell and decided he wanted to be Mike Tyson on his girlfriend.

You can read the full story here.

Let it be known that silence is not an option anymore and if you’re going to be a physical and sexual assault apologist, there is no place for you on my blog or in my life.

If you’ve molested someone in the past, it’s best you out yourself before someone else does it.

I’ll stop here because I have to go to yaba market to buy jeans with my friend.

My next blog post would have us catching up but until then, remember that you can be anything you want to be but not a rape apologist or rapist.

#istandwithbusoladakolo.

Do subscribe if you haven’t and don’t forget to tell everybody that I’m back.

Take a minute to stroll round the blog and admire the works of the hands of my web designer.

WHO MISSED ME?

Waist trainers? No, please dear

You people did not even tell me that this waist trainer life is hard.

Few weeks ago, StyleSenami forced me to buy a waist trainer from Jumia since I had refused to see through my plan of going to the gym, I felt so too.

I got my waist trainer weeks ago and I never got around opening the package. I just knew that I had a waist trainer lying around in my box.

Today I decided to try this dress I got as a gift from Jane Michaels last year and I decided to try it with the waist trainer.

First of all, the process of wearing a waist trainer is work in itself, I perspired like I had just come out of the bathroom because Lagos is on a whole different level of ‘hot’ at the moment. This waist trainer has to be wrapped twice for you to get the achieved results but I realized that if I wrapped it twice, Instablog’s headline would read ‘Girl on blue faints in public due to the tightness of the waist trainer nobody sent her to wear’ with a picture of me sprawled on the floor struggling to breath so I wrapped it once and got my mammary glands spilling out of the clothes and my waist snatched anyway.

Ladies and gentlemen, that picture might look like whatever you think it is but I couldn’t breath, I promise. Those things make you walk as if you’re proud and as if you have money and I honestly need to know how you lots that wear these things regularly, live with yourselves.

It didn’t help that I was hungry and I had to eat but I couldn’t because my intestines were caving in. It looked like modesty and home training to the ones that offered me food but I was really hungry and dying to remove this thing.

Hafeezah on the other hand, was as free as a bird seeing that she had nothing holding her down.

She helped zip up that dress so she is partly to blame for my discomfort.

Eitherways, I realize now that ‘snatched waist’ is not my portion as I cannot survive this hardship.

If you people want me to be fit, hire a personal trainer for me. If not, let’s be looking at ourselves.

LADIES, EVER HAD ANY EXPERIENCE WITH WAIST TRAINERS?

WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST TIME LIKE?

GUYS, EVER ENCOUNTERED ANY LADY WITH WAIST TRAINERS? HOW DID YOU FEEL?

WHO ELSE IS WITH ME ON THIS ‘I CAN’T COME AND KILL MYSELF JOURNEY?

See who decided to come back.

A month ago today, I dropped a blog post on my blog and I have since then struggled with dropping more posts, not because I’m a lazy blogger who deems it fit to drop blog posts whenever she likes but because my blog threw me off balance and requested that I got a Secured Socket Layer certificate.

I died and resurrected because these certificates don’t come cheap.

Being a blogger is a whole lot of work, I tell you.

I have the best web developer on earth. Campusstyle did everything possible to keep me calm and sane while they scurried round the web for a cheaper certificate.

Ladies and gentlemen, my blog is now premium because I paid money to be able to post and because I said so.

Now playing: the voice of reasoning in my head asking me to drop my phone and listen to my lecturer because this blog post can wait.

I’m typing this blog post under the table guys.

I missed everything about this blog but y’all missed four whole weeks of my dramatic life, you can catch up on most of them on my instagram page.

I’m back to this blog as a final year student who has finally gotten over every form of laziness to resume school. I have also come to realize painstakingly that my life would have to be on hold in order to survive this final year and the stress or I could decide to go through the stress of living my life as a student and as a hustler because man must whack.

It’s so hard to hear in this class without my glasses.

Don’t ask me how.

Eitherways, this is just a blog post to announce my return to the blog and to be sure that I’ve not lost any of you guys and to tell y’all that I came back single.

My lecturer just seized the phone of my course mate because it rang out, I’m typing with one eye on my screen and the other eye looking out.

Happy birthday to my health practitioner friend and an ardent reader of this blog. God bless you, Onye.

I’m done abeg.

HOW HAVE YOU BEEN?

 

WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN UP TO THESE PAST FEW WEEKS?

 

WHO GOT VALENTINE GIFTS DEARS?

 

WHAT NEW TRICK DO YOU HAVE UP YOUR SLEEVES? FILL ME IN GUYS.

 

 

Happy Valentine’s day in advance, okay?

The whole world is taunting me right now but I’m a strong girl, this Valentine too shall pass.

Now playing: Yes, you can – Donnie Mcclurkin 1989.

This song actually made the whole of my childhood. No morning ever went by in our house without this song blasting from the DVD player, mainly because I was envious of the children that sang with him on stage and I always pictured myself amongst those kids.

The CD had to start skipping terribly before we stopped playing it but one thing I know is – Yes, I can do anything at all; well apart from watching people’s stories on Valentine’s day because that one, I cannot do!!!

Going to save myself the heartache.

This is actually one holiday I have never looked forward to because you people will disturb my timeline with red and white and extremely mushy things.

I went for the one party where I felt in control because of the theme – NO LOVE by Lynkupwithjameson, the one party where I felt like single people could triumph because of the theme but alas, I was to be disappointed because almost everyone found love at that party, all I managed to leave the party with was the fine pictures my friends took of me.

Don’t question me, please. I have headache.

Oh, Burna boy has a babe now, her name is Stefflondon. I feel bad for you bloody singles that were crushing on either him or his babe.

Jokes apart guys, after this whole valentine craze is over, I’d come back to the reality that ASUU has called off strike and I still didn’t get hostel in Unilag.

Your WCW would likely sleep on the streets of Akoka if she doesn’t get hostel, that’s not even the best part, my dear friends.

The best part is, I have been given my project topic and I cant even remember what it is even though I have to submit my proposal in April.

Me looking at my life in front of me like…

 

On the bright side, we’re all writing my project together. Thanks

 

I know that I can never be in this situation alone but let’s make my friend and I happy, click here to like this picture for us and tag two people to like on your way out.

I’m going to bed now but not without asking.

WHO ELSE DOESN’T HAVE A VALENTINE?

 

WHO IS AS SINGLE AS I AM AND WILL BE AT HOME EATING THE CHOCOLATES PEOPLE BUY FOR OUR FRIENDS?

 

WHO IS IN A RELATIONSHIP BUT UNSURE ABOUT HOW THIS VALENTINE WILL BE FOR YOU?

 

WHO KNOWS THE DSA OF UNILAG PERSONALLY?

 

Lagos Landlords are absolute extremists

If you live in Lagos and you’re trying to get an apartment, I commend you for participating in this extreme sport.

Now playing: Wonderland by Efeoraka

When I said it few weeks ago that Lagos landlords are extremists, it looked and sounded like I was blowing things out of proportion but after my friend had to claim that she was married in order to secure an apartment, I thought nothing they did could ever surprise me again until my male friend went through a totally different ordeal.

He had been on about this apartment search since December and it always met him at a dead end because these landlords are not smiling with anybody’s father.

About a week ago, he was casually talking to his client when he mentioned that he needed an apartment big enough to contain all his photography equipments but he had not found the perfect one yet, she offered to renew the rent of the apartment where her sister used to stay for my friend and her brother while he continued his search and of course, who no like better thing?

In this case, the house was owned by a woman and in the briefings given to them by their agent, they had to appear before her looking like responsible young men as she was keen on who she let into her house and so they did.

They got there looking like the most responsible bachelors in Lagos. Well, my friend did but his client’s brother came as he was – unbothered.

After going round the house and getting the final rent balance, the landlady said ‘oya let’s talk’ and sat down like a Queen.

Her ground rules were:

⁃ No coming into the compound later than 8pm (in this Lagos o)

⁃ If they ever stayed out beyond 8pm, they shouldn’t even bother coming home because she would not answer them if they knocked (even our extreme parents didn’t go this far)

⁃ All visitors must be assessed by her before coming into her compound (yes ma, Access me and tell me to leave the compound)

⁃ There would be only one key to the gate and it was going to be with her, if they ever needed to go out or come in, they would need to call her first. The gate was going to be locked at all times (because she’s the one that gave birth to them)

⁃ No female visitors (my friends and I planned to disguise as evangelists on every Sunday so we could gain access into the house, especially when we needed to shoot and maybe his own girlfriend would come in disguised as a man)

⁃ They would both come to her for spiritual counseling as often as possible (because mentorship)

⁃ And most importantly, they would always follow her to camp whenever she was going (one of these two human male soon to be tenant is a Muslim)

At this point, my friend lost it and asked that she adopted them as her children and refunded their money so they could live as puppets in her house because they could not live like that at the expense of their own money.

Well, she agreed to one thing and that was refunding their money if they couldn’t live with her rules and she did in twenty four hours. It took this encounter for us to realize that it had to be landed properties before mobile ones because ‘Lagos don tear our eye.’

Anyway, the story has a great ending. My friend has gotten a better apartment where he had to lie that he’s married with an adult kid (me) on the form.

I’d rather this than having to disguise as a man to visit my friend.

While we’re here, watch my introduce yourself video here and get to know more about me.

YOU KNOW I’LL ALWAYS ASK, HAVE YOU EVER ENCOUNTERED A LAGOS LANDLORD?

ARE YOUR PARENTS SUCH LANDLORDS?

WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE DONE IF YOU WERE IN THE SAME ROOM WITH THE LANDLADY WHEN SHE WAS SPEAKING?

WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE DONE IF YOU WERE IN THEIR SHOES?

Dear Creatives, stand your ground.

I actually did wake up at 2am to write but since my throbbing head has other plans for me, I slept back and woke up at 4am. I can shake my head up and down now and hope that it stays shakable tomorrow.

Now playing: the playlist this idiot made for me. No, I won’t share, I’ll just be putting up the picture of the one who has my heart completely.

Between the last time we talked on this blog and now, I dyed my hair, watched the whole season of SEX EDUCATION and the two seasons of DYNASTY.

I was up most on most nights completely neglecting writing on this blog and doing ‘one more episode and I’ll write’.

Guess who one more episode herself to the very end of the series?

We need a season three and we need it fast!!!

Either ways, dear creatives that do not know how to place value on what they do, what’s the problem? Is it that you’re unsure or you feel like you’re not worthy to have value?

I ask this because I heard a whole web/app developer beat himself up in front of a potential client in order to seem humble.

He stuttered, he stammered and most of all, he wasn’t sure of how good he was.

The phrases ‘I could’ and ‘’maybe’ fell out his mouth so much that I almost walked up to him and gave him a resounding slap.

He had some pretty good jobs to his name but he didn’t value himself enough to see them as ‘good jobs’ and I watched as he was painfully priced from 100k to 30k because he seemed unsure of himself.

It was more painful than seeing Cristal Carrington die.

I’d never stop asking you to value yourself first before any other person values you. This way, nobody can ride you because they’d realize that they need you more than you need them.

Don’t be afraid to put a price on yourself because you want to seem nice and cheap unless nice and cheap can fund your lifestyle because you’ll most definitely be priced to nothingness even when you’re cheap. Price yourself knowing that your piggybank needs to be fed everyday and it cannot be fed with an empty account. This is my motivation.

Reminds me of the very time someone cut 80% off my budget for a job and told me ‘just accept this one, there will be more jobs in the future and we’ll put you on the list.’

God forbid, dear.

I was broke but I honestly refused to sell myself short and lose on both ends because I wanted to please people with my money in their pockets; because if 80% of the budget could be cut now, what was the guarantee that I’d even get paid at all next time?

What was the assurance that the next time a better job came up, I wouldn’t be called and priced to the level of disorientation simply because they know that I’d settle for just anything?

God forbid bad thing!

So dear creatives who want to make a difference and get paid while at it, place value on yourself knowing that they need you more than you need them because they’d have learnt it if they didn’t need you.

While you’re at it, ensure that you know how to deliver what is expected of you too because you’ll put yourself in a position of ‘see finish’ and lose your integrity.

I have tried for you.

HAVE YOU SEEN ANY OF THE TWO SERIES MENTIONED ABOVE

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN UNDERPRICED BY A CLIENT? SHARE YOUR EXPERIENCES.

ARE YOU ACTUALLY NICE OR YOU JUST DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE WORTH?

HOW HAVE YOU UTILIZED THIS STRIKE TO YOUR FAVOUR?

DO YOU HAVE YOUR PVC, DEAR?

When the applause gets too loud…

If like me, you love to applaud yourself or be applauded by others after every step you take, you might want to invest your time in this post.

Now playing: Baby girl – Casper Nyovest (Bimbo sent this song to me to rope me into his lies but no dear, I’m not falling for it. I’m going back to my Jonathan McReynolds playlist when this song ends)

It is well known that as much as a lot of us try to put up the ‘idgaf’ show and the ‘your opinions don’t matter, I’m living my best life doing what I want’ appearance, we lowkey seek validation from certain people and when we get them, our brains go over the top.

Don’t even attempt to deny it.

What do you do when the applause gets too loud?

For most of us, when we achieve one small feat and we get a lot of appraisals telling us that it could only be us and nobody else, how that small feat is one milestone that should be celebrated beyond words and how nobody deserves us; we begin to actually feel like everyone is underserving of us and we have done something out of the ordinary. So what do we do next?

We relax.

Let me digress a little bit.

I met someone in 2014 and instantly became a big fan of him because not only was he my size, he was also from my state and was doing such great things in the East.

(I would mention names but I honestly don’t have strength for that)

2014, he was the one person that you could refer to as your mentor’s mentor because that was how good he was.

At every chance I got, I made sure that I reminded him about how great he was doing. A whole lot of other people publicly appraised him too. He was so good that when he came to see me in Lagos that year, a lot of people stopped him to say hi.

Eventually, we lost touch and reunited in 2017. It was a glorious meeting seeing that I was still a fan even though I had no idea if he was still keeping up the good work. People still hailed him sha.

We got closer and I realized that this young man still thought of himself as the person he was a few years ago.

A lot of people had met him at his pace and overtaken him, yet he still considered himself Lord over them.

There were days where he would say ‘this person learnt from me. I revolutionized this for these newcomers, they’re nothing without me.’ Those newcomers had gotten better and had physical evidence to show for it but he was still the same person he was in 2014, only older.

I had never seen someone who lived on past glory like this person and one day, I sat down to think about it and I realized that the applause kept getting louder and louder till his ego drowned in it and raised his shoulders too high.

He relaxed and waited for his past to speak for him while his predecessors kept working and making their present continuous do the talking.

Eventually, he became depressed and blamed everyone else but himself for his misfortune.

I tried to help, trust me.

This whole experience made me realize that praises could either choose to make or mar you, depending on how you take them.

I’ve been carried away by a lot of praises. Praises so loud that I stopped creating for a while to bask in the euphoria of the previous step I took but reality hit me when I also realized that your praise singers would move on to the next person who provides them value if you refuse to come down from your high horse and create.

So what do you do when the applause gets too loud?

⁃ You take it in and continue creating so they don’t stop applauding.

⁃ Don’t just be a one hit wonder. Keep making hits until it becomes a way of life for you.

⁃ Nobody ever survived on past glory so don’t for once think that past glory will feed you in this day and age.

⁃ Applaud yourself first after every milestone so that the applause of others doesn’t overwhelm you.

⁃ Get someone to guide you.

HAVE YOU EVER LET APPRAISALS GET INTO YOUR HEAD?

HAVE YOU EVER EXPERIENCED WHAT LIVING ON PAST GLORY GLORY FEELS LIKE?

DO YOU EVER TAKE OUT TIME TO APPRECIATE YOURSELF OF YOU JUST LET OTHERS DO THE APPRECIATING FOR YOU?

Hey, Your friends are a reflection of who you really are!!!

Yes, you’ve heard it before and I’m saying it again.

Your friends are a reflection of who you are.

Now playing: Sound it – SMJ ft IBK

Often times, I get a lot of flattering messages about my friends and I and how we take advantage of everything at our disposal to push and encourage each other. I beam with pride but then again, these things don’t happen in a day.

I have, over the past five years made friends who have either contributed to my life or taken from me.

No. Not money.

Value.

I’m not one to make a lot of friends even though I know a lot of people. Reasons being that:

• I don’t want to get poisoned, any way possible.

• I don’t like unnecessary stress.

• I hate unnecessary stress.

• I want to be around people that can help me grow even when I’m being lazy.

• I don’t like selfish people.

When I remember more reasons, I’ll post them on my Instagram.

These questions from TheCultureFit will be a guide as to how you and your friends can be strong off each other.

I’d be making a lot of personal references so forgive me.

How do I find friends to form my own squad?

This is quite tricky because I don’t think anybody gets into friendship with the aim of being a squad. It’s something that just happens along the line but if the long term plan is to be a squad and remain so, the trick is to find people of like minds but with different perspectives towards life because this would help broaden your thoughts and will teach you tolerance. You have to find out that it’s fine for everybody not to agree with your opinion and it will totally be fine, unless you want a squad that would constantly applaud your excesses and bow before you at your will.

For example, I have very creative friends with different talents, when we come together with the aim of brainstorming, that’s when we begin to understand why we’re friends.

How does everyone put the other person before themselves?

It’s a question of how selfless you can be. If you’re in that friendship to help each other grow, of course it would come easy. It’s a clear case of ‘If one person wins, we applaud the loudest’ because we are first proud to be friends with that person and we realize that our applause would motivate others to stand up and applaud. If one person does something bad, the rest of us cower our heads in shame so we’d also raise our heads up high while we carry each other on our shoulders knowing that a team player scored.

How do you all manage to hold each other down and protect your interests as a team?

The devil will not put us to shame in Jesus name. At this point, it just comes naturally because we’ve been through too much together to not hold each other down.

Behind the scenes, we fight a lot and attempt to break up because of one small mistake but of course every team has that one person that oversees as the elder, who would take out the time to talk sense into us one after the other.

We first imagine how our lives will be without each other and then how beautiful our lives would remain and improve with each other and we realize that it’s something we cannot lose, so we hug and kiss ourselves and renew our vows.

This works because I do not have toxic friends. I have friends who are willing to slap me from my daydream and bring me back to the reality of what I’m supposed to be doing to achieve my dreams.

That being said, if you have toxic friends, you’re punishing yourself.

How do you all bare yourselves out to each other without the fear of being judged.

This is where the trust factor comes into play because why do you have friends who would readily jump at the first opportunity to judge you?

We talk a lot and we all have our different roles to play individually.

I’m most definitely the last person anybody would come and meet to tell that they got drunk and fell into the gutter. I will laugh. A lot. Like a whole lot.

I’m also the very last person who’d accept that you’ve had your very first taste of alcohol because it takes me really long to process such information. I’ll just be living in denial but you can always come and meet me when you have issues pertaining to your mental, emotional and physical well being. I can die for you in these cases.

In very extreme cases where we now have to collectively bare ourselves to each other, we either do it physically or on the group chat and if you’re not going to help in any way, it’s best you just shut up because everybody will face you.

When you consider all being made the center of attraction in such situation, your head will become correct, you’d remove every form of judgement from your feelings.

How do you stay supporting each other 100%?

We have become so used to it now. A lot of times we don’t even give our 100% but because a lot of people that see us are fascinated by the idea of us as friends, they get to think that everything is rosy.

There are days that we slack, there are also days that we get selfish but we of course do not let it becloud our sense of reasoning.

We love each other first, we understand each other and we act like we’re all we’ve got, we annoy each other a lot, sometimes a little too much that it becomes baffling.

We correct each other in love and we try to keep each other on our toes because we’re moved by what we see so we ensure that we let the team see that there’s no room for slacking.

Sometimes we’re childish, but hey, we’re only humans after all.

WHAT ARE YOUR FRIENDS SAYING ABOUT YOU?

DO YOU BELIEVE IN THE ‘SHOW ME YOUR FRIENDS AND I’LL TELL YOU WHO YOU ARE’ PHRASE?

ARE YOU YOUR FRIEND’S FRIEND?

DO YOU SUPPORT YOUR FRIENDS OR YOU JUST WANT THEM TO SUPPORT YOU FOR NOTHING IN RETURN?

DO YOU PATRONIZE YOUR FRIENDS?

DO YOU TALK TO YOUR FRIENDS?