This Culture of Victim Shaming

How long has it been since y’all read from me?

Now that I’m back on my personal space, I can talk the way I want without anybody coming to fight me.

I’ve been away since March because this blog refused to let me post and reply comments. It was as if the blog grew a mind of its own because it just threw me out and became my master.

Anyway, now that I’m back on the weekend that the one thing I hate most in this world is trending, let’s just get right into it.

If you’ve been following me before now, you’d know that I dedicated the whole of last year to getting abused victims to speak up after someone verbally molested me and my breasts at Jibowu last year. The stories that came after mine progressed from verbal sexual molestation to actual physical and sexual molestation.

They went from “he touched my breasts,” “he fingered me” to “he raped me countless times” “she took my virginity when I was a child” and what not.

I became a totally different person in the course of reading these stories because I realized that a lot of women if not all, have experienced abuse one way or the other. I even went as far as confronting some of the molesters within my reach and getting threatened by most of them.

You would imagine my outrage when after the whole Busola Dakolo interview on YNaija, some bloody nitwits and rape apologists came out to ask questions like:

• Why was she dressed in her nightie when the pastor came to visit?

• Why is she coming out to speak now?

• Would she have spoken out if Biodun Fatoyinbo wasn’t a pastor?

All of these while completely ignoring the fact that she said that she had spoken out once before and was made to shut up and never speak of it again. Some people watched the cut clips on twitter and ig and concluded that she was lying when there was a 25 minutes long video put out on YouTube containing the full details of the assault.

Unbelievably, the attacks came mostly from women and others who were of the mind that he wasn’t a pastor when he did it, hence calling him out wasn’t necessary.

Back in 2013, Ese Walters who is a survivor to me, called out the same man for the same thing he is being accused of today and because rape is an issue that is always overlooked and social media was not as strong then, she was called names and insulted left, right and center. Thank God she couldn’t be bullied by Nigerians who would rather be blinded by the men put in place to lead them to God.

We make religion seem like a warfare in this country by not letting these religious leaders be accountable and if we won’t get anything right, let’s get our path to righteousness right. Let’s not lose our common sense in a bid to kiss the asses of the “spiritual daddies” who are rapists.

This and a lot more of these confessions are going round and I would say my story that involved a “teens president” of a church in ogudu but that would require a whole blog post.

While we wait for your Gucci pastor to go through with his lawsuit, another Gboko beast emerged from the pits after hell and decided he wanted to be Mike Tyson on his girlfriend.

You can read the full story here.

Let it be known that silence is not an option anymore and if you’re going to be a physical and sexual assault apologist, there is no place for you on my blog or in my life.

If you’ve molested someone in the past, it’s best you out yourself before someone else does it.

I’ll stop here because I have to go to yaba market to buy jeans with my friend.

My next blog post would have us catching up but until then, remember that you can be anything you want to be but not a rape apologist or rapist.

#istandwithbusoladakolo.

Do subscribe if you haven’t and don’t forget to tell everybody that I’m back.

Take a minute to stroll round the blog and admire the works of the hands of my web designer.

WHO MISSED ME?

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54 Comments

  1. Gbemisolarh June 29, 2019 at 8:30 pm
    Reply
  2. Ola June 29, 2019 at 8:32 pm

    Welcome back King.

    Reply
    1. Osas - Site Author July 1, 2019 at 8:50 am

      thank you dear

      Reply
  3. Samuel Afolayan June 29, 2019 at 8:33 pm

    Look who’s back!
    Welcome back King

    Reply
    1. Osas - Site Author July 1, 2019 at 8:50 am

      thank you, ore mi

      Reply
  4. Ayomide Odeh June 29, 2019 at 8:39 pm

    Welcome back ❤️ And I admire your courage

    Reply
    1. Osas - Site Author July 1, 2019 at 8:49 am

      thank you sweetie

      Reply
  5. Bolatito June 29, 2019 at 8:45 pm

    Osas, God bless you for this

    Reply
    1. Osas - Site Author July 1, 2019 at 8:49 am

      Amen

      Reply
  6. Nuellalove June 29, 2019 at 8:48 pm

    I miss you king

    Reply
    1. Osas - Site Author July 1, 2019 at 8:46 am

      thank you love

      Reply
  7. Courage June 29, 2019 at 8:57 pm

    Welcome back o…..now I have somewhere to always come to when I get frustrated.
    I get very agitated when I hear anything about rape or sexual molestation but that’s by the way.
    It’s too good to have you back

    Reply
    1. Osas - Site Author July 1, 2019 at 8:46 am

      my woman

      Reply
  8. Naomi akerele June 29, 2019 at 9:07 pm

    Your courage speaks in this article babe. I love you ❤❤❤

    Reply
    1. Osas - Site Author July 1, 2019 at 8:46 am

      thank you baby girl

      Reply
  9. Florence June 29, 2019 at 9:11 pm

    Welcome back. Thanks for speaking up on this issue

    Reply
    1. Osas - Site Author July 1, 2019 at 8:46 am

      its always my pleasure

      Reply
  10. Omataonye June 29, 2019 at 9:50 pm

    What I can never understand is how and why anyone would rape someone, how do you do that?
    Why?
    It is just so sad
    Thank you so much Osas for this
    Remain blessed

    Reply
    1. Osas - Site Author July 1, 2019 at 8:46 am

      i would never ever even want to understand such

      Reply
  11. Anjorin Molayo June 29, 2019 at 10:07 pm

    Thank you for OSAS. I always love it when you decide to speak on this issue and I love your courage. welcome back once again

    Reply
    1. Osas - Site Author July 1, 2019 at 8:45 am

      Thanks sweetie

      Reply
  12. TheBeckyJoe June 29, 2019 at 11:01 pm

    We missed you ❤️

    Reply
    1. Osas - Site Author July 1, 2019 at 8:45 am

      my baby girl

      Reply
  13. Edwin Udofia June 29, 2019 at 11:13 pm

    Welcome back Osas, I miss you.

    Reply
    1. Osas - Site Author July 1, 2019 at 8:43 am

      my editor, thank you

      Reply
  14. PJ June 30, 2019 at 12:42 am

    Love you more for always using your platforms to speak out on this ❤️

    Reply
    1. Osas - Site Author July 1, 2019 at 8:43 am

      Party Jollof, thank you dear

      Reply
  15. Dania June 30, 2019 at 2:46 am

    Welcome back dear

    I love how you inspire people to tell their stories.

    Reply
    1. Osas - Site Author July 1, 2019 at 8:42 am

      thank you my sister

      Reply
  16. Damilola Olateju June 30, 2019 at 5:47 am

    Welcome back

    Reply
    1. Osas - Site Author July 1, 2019 at 8:41 am

      thank you boo

      Reply
  17. Sarah June 30, 2019 at 6:30 am

    This is a beautiful writeup dear. I’m excited about finding a new spot. Please I think there’s a little issue with the screenshot arrangement, maybe you could check it out.

    Reply
    1. Osas - Site Author July 1, 2019 at 8:41 am

      thank you love. I’ll check it out

      Reply
  18. Marshmallow June 30, 2019 at 7:23 am

    Osas this a platform I really enjoyed being part of it, mehhhnnn kudos to u✊

    Reply
    1. Osas - Site Author July 1, 2019 at 8:38 am

      thanks dear

      Reply
  19. Tanto Cup Of Tee June 30, 2019 at 7:26 am

    Welcome back Osas!
    Reading the comments about the Busola case made by those dumb ass people blew my mind tbh that people actually think that way

    Reply
  20. Harriet ❤️ June 30, 2019 at 7:40 am

    I feel like you’re conversing with me when I read your blogs I just love the way you have your way with words

    Reply
    1. Osas - Site Author July 1, 2019 at 8:35 am

      thank you for reading

      Reply
  21. Harriet ❤️ June 30, 2019 at 7:41 am

    Btw much love from Kenya
    You’re viral

    Reply
    1. Osas - Site Author July 1, 2019 at 8:33 am

      thank you Queen

      Reply
  22. Vivian Oluchi June 30, 2019 at 8:37 am

    Thank you so much for this. I thought I overreacted by letting go of a rape apologist. Thank you and God bless

    Reply
    1. Osas - Site Author July 1, 2019 at 8:32 am

      you did not overreact jare

      Reply
  23. Feezah June 30, 2019 at 9:54 am

    Welcome back, Osas. This whole issue shocked me mehnn. The video is more than that 25 minute own o. There are like 4 like that. You can check on bellanaija website. I don’t know how someone would watch the full video and still defend Biodun. Ahhhhh. God really safe us mehnn.

    Reply
    1. Osas - Site Author July 1, 2019 at 8:32 am

      people that are blinded by their idol. Its called idolatory

      Reply
  24. _Zeezah_o June 30, 2019 at 10:57 am

    I’m proud of you..
    Someone that will fight for the weak
    I’m behind you anytime any day
    God bless you

    Reply
    1. Osas - Site Author July 1, 2019 at 8:31 am

      Thank you love.

      Reply
  25. Kolore June 30, 2019 at 2:20 pm

    My first time on this blog and I’m so much in love

    Reply
    1. Osas - Site Author July 1, 2019 at 8:31 am

      Thank you. make sure you subscribe o

      Reply
  26. Misty June 30, 2019 at 10:17 pm

    This was a great read. Rape to me has always been a topic that gets me super mad. I used to have a group where we helped rape victims get counseling no matter how long the incident has been and I know how hard it was watching girls who appear to be strong break down in tears. I really worry for our humanity tbh but one thing is certain, we would not be quiet. Rapists would be exposed and dealt with. They can run but they cannot hide !!

    Reply
    1. Osas - Site Author July 1, 2019 at 8:30 am

      Let them run all they want. As far as we’re not going to die young, they will still meet us here.

      Reply
  27. Enitan July 6, 2019 at 5:32 pm

    Well done OSAS!

    Reply
  28. Ololade Edna July 8, 2019 at 1:15 am

    Welcome back. Nice to see you writing again

    Reply
    1. Osas - Site Author July 8, 2019 at 9:06 am

      thank you love

      Reply

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