, ,

Don’t ever pray to be in this kind of situation.


Today, it is exactly a week that my mother said goodbye to this world.

Today, I realize that this whole thing messes with the mind more than you’d ever realize. I’m supposed to be sleeping so my whole head would be ready for today’s paper but I fear that I might eventually forget everything I’ve read like I did on Saturday.

I didn’t give this gist?

Now playing: Jonathan McReynolds- God is good

I walked into the exam hall five minutes after 9am and was greeted with pity stares from fellow course mates. I know what a pity stare looks like, I gave it to myself in the mirror for hours.

I had of course sang half of the note for that course during my walk to the department and I was so sure that I would kill that course like I had done its predecessors but apparently, my head had other plans.

I saw the questions and I, of course knew what answers belonged to the questions on the question paper but I had not enough strength to write them. I stared around and watched everybody write and as soon as I picked up the pen to write, my right hand began to shake and I began to write on the answer booklet.

Then it happened.

I forgot what it was that I had read.

Instead my head was filled with a lot of crazy WHAT IF questions.

What if I had to negotiate with death?

What if I didn’t have feelings?

What if I didn’t have God?

What if God didn’t find me worthy enough to call me His?

What if God did not give me the kind of friends I have?

What if God had forgotten to give my siblings strength?

What would become of me?


Of course, there was no way I was going to remember what I read at this point and there was no way anybody was going to see me helpless, it had never happened. It was my first time being clueless for an exam I read for and so I put my head on the table and I slept because I wasn’t going to risk my feelings getting the better part of me.

My mind had chosen a quiet place to become creatively inquisitive, my mind had chosen the exam hall to make me helpless. I slept for an hour straight and woke up still clueless.

I knew I had to struggle to get my mind off what it was that was bothering it but I also knew that I didn’t have the strength to and it would require an outburst, I wasn’t about to let Vincent and his best friend hand me a malpractice form so I sat there, very confident of the F I would be getting in that course. It didn’t help that time slowed itself down, looked me in the eye and dared me to do my worse.

Eventually, two hours came to an end and I gingerly jumped out of my seat and submitted like I had actually written something.

I was calm.

The voices in my head were in series of arguments with themselves but I was physically calm.

I even made jokes about it.

Now I fear that the hall would be too silent by 12pm today for my mind to handle it. This is one course taken by everybody’s favorite lecturer and it will not be in my lifetime that my mind would let my body embarrass my family, me and you.

As much as I fear that my mind would not be able to survive the silence, I plan to do this exam with Jonathan McReynolds, God and everything I’ve read in my head.

If I get through this paper, I can get through anything.






34 replies
  1. DearestMeg
    DearestMeg says:

    Remember our mantra this semester “las las we go dey alright” and I trust we’ll be fine🤗…

    I’ve been awake since 3am trying to read as much as I can for the two papers I have today after I managed to sleep very late last night.
    No one goes to the exam hall 100% ready especially if you have lecturers that are full of surprises but God’s got us babe….we go dey dey alright 😁

    • osas
      osas says:

      Shaibu the king of surprises 😭😭 I pray I don’t break down in that hall. Good luck with prad research, we’ll kill international broadcasting

  2. Adeleye funmilayo
    Adeleye funmilayo says:

    Been so blank in the exam Hall ND no one to help u ND u start crying.
    I sleep in so of my exams that are very boring
    Not really had one
    Yes I have but I thank God mine was physics in 100 we just finished biology so we had physics practical I forgot everything ND started crying in the hall 30min to time up I just wrote anything . behold I had an A in the course .

  3. Feezah
    Feezah says:

    All my papers this semester have had me scared to death. As the times for them draw near, I start to feel bouts of anxiety. I suddenly start wanting to pee, and I start sweating. And even when I get to the exam hall, my hands would shake for a long time before I get back to my senses. Then the time is never enough, and it doesn’t help that I’m a slow writer. My criminal law exam has to have been the worst! First, I didn’t do a whole number because of time; that’s a whole 20 marks down the drain. And even one of the numbers I did, when I came out of the exam hall and asked questions, they said the law that applied was the criminal law of Lagos state, not the criminal code of Nigeria which I had so confidently written down; sections and all. Loooool. I’m up rn because I have a paper today. I can’t read and I can’t sleep either. I’m scared as hell for this entire semester, and in advance for the coming semesters, but I know that the God I serve won’t let all my efforts be in vain

    • osas
      osas says:

      I share your fears and I know exactly how you feel. To top it all, there’s this endless pit in my stomach, I don’t know what it’s there for but I know I can’t be feeding my fears into that pit because it keeps getting deeper

  4. Nneoma
    Nneoma says:

    This happened to me last semester. I entered the hall, saw my questions and I didn’t know what to write. I just put my head on my paper and was just like God how will I write this and from I slept off for like 30 minutes till an invigilator came and woke me up. I sat up, scribbled what I could and begged God to help me not fail 😩

  5. Achike Faith
    Achike Faith says:

    I know my worst exam experience will be todwy
    Because I’m confidently saying I’m tired when out of 26 PDFs I’ve read only 8
    Nooo..i think i remember my firsr exam experience happened last Thursday;a normal question that if you wake me up from my rsleep,I’ll answer everything but that day,i just sat and watched everybody write.I’m just praying to God that i don’t get an F

  6. Lesley
    Lesley says:

    My worst exam experience was theatre and drama exams. It was german and we had just 30 minutes for the exam. I was still trying to think and process things when the supervisor for the exam came and asked them to collect our papers , that he needed to go home and rest 😳
    Barely 15 minutes into our exam.

  7. quadri agboluaje
    quadri agboluaje says:

    Baby Girl, Pray!
    My worst experience was last Saturday also.
    Prior to this, we were given an assignment which I aced. In my mind if it comes out in exam, I Don pass am, I go kill am. Lo and behold, word for word, these same set of questions came out in the exam, excited me bout to kill this shit and BAM! I didn’t remember ANYTHING. I was just Blank! I could picture it in my head but I couldn’t put it down. It appeared as a really blurred image. Took me an hour of staring round, listening to Astroworld in my head and other things before I could remember anything. An hour to go and I rushed to write something up. Anyways las las we go dey alright. 🤧

  8. Omataonye
    Omataonye says:

    In my first year I had one of my calculus paper and I went in to see an essay like question for mathematics
    It was 5 questions answer 4 but they had so many children, grandchildren and great grandchildren. One question could cover 2pages and they were about 20 of them😭. My invigilator had to ask who the lecturer was and he swore to never let any of his girls take any science course.
    One of my course mate was crying and writing because he knew it was a fail already
    So many paused for mins from the shock of the question
    I was just answering any question from anywhere without order. I cried after the paper, I remember telling my lecturer that he is mistaken me for someone else when he told me I had an A in that course the next semester because in my head it was a C for the highest.
    That man shocked me😭

    French exams😭😭😭

    My friend’s mum is a lecturer in my uni and she knows me. She was invigilating that day and she made sure to call my name and that of her children so many times, reminding us of the fact that she is there and if we turn our heads or make any sound it will be an automatic carryover for us

    I will still go on my knees and thank God that the forgetfulness didn’t bring me down🙏🏽

    I enjoyed it❤️

    • osas
      osas says:

      Your friend’s mom is quite the savage 😂😂😂
      At least you got A, if the man should give me a D, I’ll go and meet him to give me my real F

  9. Lharmi
    Lharmi says:

    This happened to me 300 level second semester oh… after previous intensive reading a night before the exam,i read from 9-4am slept 4am and woke 8 contined from 8am till i entered the hall.. as i enteredthe hall with fear of the unknown, i totally forgot all i read,the synthesis,pathways and everything.. i eventually answered two questions out of 6 … i went back. Soap my duvet with tears and prayed oh… last week i entered a lecturers office and the man went out and left me in the office. Leaving the result carelessly… i checked for my name and matric number… i had a ‘c’ God came through… he’d come through for you babe

  10. Babavin
    Babavin says:

    You got me there for a moment, I saw “Vincent” and had to reread the paragraph keenly, asking myself if it were me. My worst experience had me go to the exam hall high, I innocently ate indomie laced with weed the night before. I legit got to the hall (dli) very late, to make matters worse, I went with course form instead of docket, I ran back to the hostel, only to get back to the exam officer telling me to “come back next year.” I was so unsettled, I felt tears and pee almost find it way out.

    I was soaked in sweat, my eyes were heavy. After endless pleas, by others I was finally allowed in. I logged into the system to see sentences and numbers that made zero sense. I just clicked anything, most of which were option C as I couldn’t hold the pee much longer and my brain couldn’t process anything. I have never been so sure of failing an exam. How I got an A till today is still a mystery!

  11. Chioma
    Chioma says:

    yeah, i have been in a situation worserer that this. lol,permit me to use that word “worserer”. i am not someone that would be caught chewing gum but that day my village people pinched my brain and told me,”‘eskis me hanty,buy gum from that aboki” so i was chewing gum in the hall, and writing the paper and then the lecturer found me and told me ,”GET OUT OF THE HALL,YOU HERBIVORE”. and thats how i stood outside for close to an hour. she finally asked me in but walai, when i went to my seat, hot piss was na catching me , i took permission and went out to do the business. Summary is, my sister, when i got back, everyone had submitted. i wanted to faint!!

  12. Cheche
    Cheche says:

    Chai, I remember one time after secondary school, I got the opportunity to take a scholarship exam, I had not really prepared as usual and was depending on my retentive memory to help me(Something that has faded gan). I was writing, doing my best and I just noticed that my brain was not working, I felt faint. I was just there thinking about thinking to think what I am writing, that was when I remembered that, I had not drunk water(Or eaten) all morning and I carried myself to take a 4hr exam, it was already 2hrs and my brain had given up on me (This was the first time this happened so it took me a while to realize), when I did, it was almost late, I just looked back and saw the invigilator with a bottle of water, and I asked him for it, He gave me and I continued the X and O that I was doing jahrey. Since then even if I read or I don’t for an exam, I always drink water. Awesome blog, my first time commenting but like 200 time reading.

  13. Sarah Echeme
    Sarah Echeme says:

    Lol I swear Actually happened to me during my senior waec 5 years ago. I was writing my government and for like 10mins I was completely blacked out. It was like magic,but then I realized it was stress😒

  14. Laurrie
    Laurrie says:

    I’m a blogger as well as a Unilag student. It’s really sad how one sad event can ruin your mentality when you need it the most. I really don’t know what to tell you about this, because it’s the past, and I really don’t know what to say😅 But as you said, God will make your life proof that God is good. Till then, I wish you the very best, I guess. As I say, the bigger weapons go to those fighting bigger wars💖💖💖. You’ve faced the war, I hope writingis enough to heal you💖💖💖💖


Leave a Reply

Want to join the discussion?
Feel free to contribute!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *