I’m Almost Too Fine For All These


Photocredit: __dce

Ever sat down to wonder why you actually wanted to grow up? Yeah. Me too. It was my NIMC challenge that brought out this thought in me.

One fateful Wednesday, I had decided that I was going to skip classes, like I always do, to go to the bank with my mom and have her transfer my account to me.
I had been saying it since I turned eighteen but that Wednesday, I decided I was going to be a doer.
So off to the bank I went with my mom. So that you wont vex too much, this bank whose name I would not mention is a bank for old people; they still retain people above forty in that bank – I kid you not. Everyone that works in that particular branch is way above thirty-five, including their security men and cleaners. The whole set up made me wonder where they put all the fresh graduates from the finance section. Our fresh graduates probably are somewhere surviving as entrepreneurs or social media influencers; that is where the money is anyways.

So, into the bank I went, with my mom trailing behind me because she likes to watch my back, and I could have sworn that everyone in the bank stopped working for a minute and took that minute to stare at me.

‘Who was this corporately dressed razzite with colored hair?’
‘Is that her mom?’
‘How is her mom okay with this?’
‘What does she want in our bank?’
‘We’re too cooperate for this kind of person’.

But no oh! Nobody said any of those words with their mouths; their eyes did the talking. I doubt anyone would have the mind to actually confront me about my hair in front of my mom sha.

It was unfortunate that we got the agent with the attitude to attend to us, she practically answered us with her mouth twisted to the other side of her face, I got disgusted by the fact that she dropped the act and picked up another when she found out that my mom couldn’t hear. Please, why?

She had told us that it would be impossible to have her transfer my own account to me without my national ID card, same ID card that I never got around to getting because of the silly excuses of the people they put in charge of it in my school: ‘Sorry, no light today, come when NASU is settled’ or ‘Sorry, we’re not working this week, come last week’.

This is how far I am from getting my national ID

To say that I was disgusted by the thought of having to stand in line for my National ID would be understated. It was thought provoking and I decided that I was going to dedicate my whole day to doing it.
Luckily for me, there was a center nearby. I had skipped to the center in excitement hoping that nothing would deter me from at least passing first stage. I didn’t get close enough to explain why I was there before I got told off by the attendant that “We’re not doing again today, come tomorrow.”

You’re not doing again at 11am? I should come tomorrow from my school to this fagba to do National ID card?

Are you funny?

Do you know that I can swear for you?

Do you think that if I was still twelve, I would be here standing in front of you trying to fulfill my national requirement?

Will you be telling me this if I was born abroad?

God will definitely judge you.

This picture is not in anyway related to this post, this is just an excuse to show my fine face. Continue reading

I think I’ll just try getting my PVC first, and hopefully, I don’t get told off.

Have you gotten your national ID card yet?
How was the process like for you?
PVC nko?
Share your experiences in the comment section.


    • You don’t know how lucky you are but I’ll tell you. You’re very lucky!!! You don’t have to go through rejections in 2018

  1. Hi, I don’t even have plans of getting pvc yet. I don’t have strength for that kind of plenty stress now.

    Your blog is nice, but do you mind changing the font color to black for easy reading. Some of us with eye defects will have to stress to read properly . Thanks 😍😍😍😍


  2. u are obsessed with urself in a good way sha,i seriously can’t believe u pulled off the hair though,I don’t even think I have the chill for the id card process

  3. I’ve tried a million times to get these national identity cards. All to no avail. The process ain’t that tedious but the people attending to you are the problem. Sluggards, real sluggards. Crazy fellows. Transferring their annoyance on innocent souls.
    Just so stressful.

    • The power is in their hands, so they feel like they’re gods at that moment. I have a lot of things to tell them mehn

  4. i am literally not a citizen of this nation,. nothing to show for it, they cannot comman kill me for my future babies(twins).i am planning my way to america already, only that i still have to be a citizen to escape this so-good country…..

  5. I’ve gotten my national i.d card although I did the whole registration for 3 weeks. Would have given up but my mum kept pushing me. Besides you inspire me a lot, your blog is always fun to read
    P.s: I’m dyeing my hair soon, joining your gang. Love from this side ❤️

  6. Well,well,well. I got my national ID card in 2015,I started the registration process in march 2014,.It took exactly one year, so Osas i think you should get a taller person to stand in place of birch🤣 that will absolutely fit the one year duration because you might end up taking that long if not more!😂
    For PVC I am going to do that today and I will get it Asap as I have a reliable contact in that their office 😉

    • Please I want reliable contact to because I don’t think I can handle this stress of wanting to be identified as a Nigerian

  7. Hi, I don’t even know how I’m just reading this cos I thought I already read all your blog posts until I stumbled upon this one. But ah! My PVC experience was maddddd,took me 3days and if I and my friends hadn’t outsmarted the people there we definitely wouldn’t have gotten it done probably till 2022 and I needed mine badly😩 The whole process is just sick tbh,I got very tired at a point but my friends never give up😂 I’m very sorry for Nigeria.


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